Most discussed stories

Cahiers du Cinéma

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Hours later, we fell out of a helicopter like hunchbacked wingless birds.

A New Tattoo

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She’s waving, Hey, I’m home! Like nothing’s happened. Like weeks haven’t passed since she left.

Along Came Doreen

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I didn't really know her. Yet, to me, she and her friends epitomized the local hip scene.

Congratulations On Your New Diagnosis! (Greeting Cards for People With Mental Problems)

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First published on www.humortimes.com

I Am Not a Corpse

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A corpse cannot cry.

1974, What I Wanted

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If there had been arranged marriage in eighth grade, the grade it used to be and still sometimes is when children left school to work in the fields, I would have hoped that my parents would have arranged for me to marry Mike.

Author meets unflattering reviewer in bar

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It was one of those incredible literary coincidences destined to reside in Wiki annals forever.

Requirement

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She sits at home, on the floor of the kitchen, bathing her stuffed animals in molasses to match the ones on the news.

Watermelon

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It was like the time we broke icicles dripping from the low eaves and brandished them like swords...

Ping Pong

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In between, they love each other madly, fuck like the rare....

WπHπAπT 2

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WπHπAπT with its pi signs denotes the way the inquiry felt and follows in strategy those inventors in language I estimate highly.

From the Kitchen of my Childhood

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An ice block heart rushed home to the beat of its melt.

The Gunman and the Ape

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You marched in step from 9 to 5, kept perfect pace, pledged allegiance to enforced mediocrity, until the day they let you go—the day you knew that you were never Buddy Holly on their plane; just another passenger, brilliant but doomed.

Unpacking Sentences

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This is what I do for a living: I unpack sentences.

Snow

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She made them all watch ``Oceans Eleven'', even the baby...

In The Lake

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She says, “Put it there now.”

War

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Once, an elephant contracted a sudden bolt of insanity in the streets of Ernakulam and trampled three children under her feet before she was shot to death. It took them seven bullets to bring her down.

Delivery

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"You are not a vintage radio. Not even close."

Leader of Men

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"Look," he said. "Look at the knife. See how I hold it?"

Daffodil

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The Trinity boys don’t blame me at all. They know I am not stupid about the world. I am a robust girl. Nevertheless, like everyone else I have limits. I am a clock that winds down.

Tenderoni

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"Oh, damn,” I say. “A kitty.”

Assholes

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Assholes are assholes who do asshole things.

Meryl Streep Laughed at That

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The boys' mother lived in a house two lawns from his, but she wouldn't bring him ice packs; she had her period, she said.

Sisters

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The gun is heavy. The tiny women hold it in both hands.

My Mother Was An Upright Piano

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My mother was an upright piano, spine erect, lid tightly closed, unplayable except by the maestro. My father was not the maestro.

A Scattering of Rivals

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I planned to go to the ends of the earth to avoid rejection.

The Thief

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I said, kiss this.

Little People

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If you consider yourself neither little nor big, remember that anything large, colossal, macroscopic, ample, sizable, blown-up, bulky, mighty was once small, lesser, minute, tiny, dinky, gnomish, weeny or lilliputian.

Life Before Kant

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I doused back three Buds in the time it took him to detest a variety of subjects including the naivety of quantum physics and pregnant women.

The Next Stanley Kubrick

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I have, for example, watched Stanley Kubrick's "The Shining" 117 times.