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The tinny beer can fell from my desk and exploded over my head

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Albert's alarm was on the verge of being dispelled by the cognac when another occurrence rattled him. In one of his vest pockets he located a short note addressed to him by Schrödinger. “—but no, this cannot be!”

FYI

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Your device silently murdered my poem just moments ago because I happened to write your device is killing you, but not only you, and not just us. That seashell should tell you everything. Your latest device is soundly seeping under every…