Most recent stories

Washed Up

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At noon on a weekday in the off season, when the trickle of tourists who wandered into the Mermaid Curio Shoppe had died out completely, she walked in with wet hair, leaving tiny puddles on the floorboards.

Wing Kee

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Last night a stranger approached me and told me that I could save a life by visiting a certain restaurant in Chinatown called Wing Kee.

Is This Is The End

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Tell them words are math counting forever four letters of truth

Ignacio's Very Special First American Christmas

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"He’s from some godforsaken village in the Andes, where they burn llama turds for fuel.”

the PC birds have come home to roost

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I want the luxury of hearing other people who disagree with me tell me why I’m an asshole!

Nightcap

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I formed a snowball in my bare hands. Hard as a rock, I let her fly.

Read Through

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“Professor Gosser,”continued Victor, “I once screwed three women in a row--I mean of course, time, not space—good one, huh? Well, each woman farted at the exact moment she climaxed. Would that qualify as coincidence? And did it have anything to do with th

Strikhedonia!

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Amen, no more nothingness now, finally the hilarity of a band of abecedarians getting drunk on whiskey and beer. We've been in this place since 11 am, now its December in January On the toilet cubicle wall are words such as Sorry and …

The Vivid Dream

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I had a terribly vivid dream where a big leaf was talking to a baby, and the Mouseketeers had grown fat, and my lover was passing the healing comb through the hair of my soul during the night as she retouched my youth, so I could rejoin

Celeste

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Before You Come Home

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The Legend of Knifemouth’s Legendary Mouth Grows

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In the small towns of central and southern Illinois there lives a very indecent sort of man.

A Skeptic’s Faith in Four Parts

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The universe will fuck you over in the end./ That’s what it does, what it’s good at—

Apparition of the BVM

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The hose was used to suffocate the parish priest.

A Brief Stirring Of Dust (Chapter 2)

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David awoke to the sound of a subtle melody and the tap tap tip, taptap of a fading rain shower. He wasn’t sure which sound he liked better and was glad that he didn’t have to choose.

The Arrow

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"Give it to me I said, you dip! Fork it over!"

Stranger than Paralyzed [Card #10: The Wheel of Fortune (WORK-IN-PROGRESS — v.2)]

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Oh well, you're still irreplaceable . . . Yeah, for a few weeks of my life, anyway . . .

Disassembly

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Maybe the thing is over by now. They have gathered up all the pictures and mementos of our dad’s life and hauled them away.

Gravel Roads

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My sister fell out of a 49 Chrysler Windsor on a gravel road in Iowa in 1961.

Shylock

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I bought a book called Shylock. I began to read it, but as I was reading, something began to make me feel rather uncomfortable.

The Day I Discovered, Followed The Night I Realised

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Nature is perfect... We can never learn that much

Revolution, Pass It On

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There's nothing I could want from those fried bread Devils. Don't want to dive into their cash Filled channels either, biting my way out Like a radio controlled shark, or be Seen falling out of their night-time cars like A teenager in love, flying face down, …

First Shot (69)

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Blow, torn between lust and suspicion, is nearly trampled by a runaway horse at the bastard Newt Gunther's funeral.

That is That

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Alexander Ivanovich stuck out his leg and tripped Daniil Ivanovich Yuvachev. Daniil Ivanovich Yuvachev stood up, took two steps forward, stuck out his leg and tripped Alexander Ivanovich.

Intermission: New York City

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The liquid cognizance of this wide green sphere makes my eyes water, my conscience cheer, mademoiselle meridians swapping their places, this is the moment when no one praises and praxinoscopes like gods are at once everywhere beyond…

Alice in Hell: 13 slithy variations

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1. Having made Alice from one of the Mad Hatter's ribs, Humpty Dumpty told her she could do anything, except speak. “How bothersome!” she said.2. In the church, Alice was horrified to be presented with a talking lamb. “EAT ME!” it bleated and, as the…

Wherever and Whenever

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It’s good to get fucked in the rain. It’s good to get fucked in the back seat of a power boat on a river in the hot summer air with the mosquitos sucking the life out of you. It’s good to get fucked with your bare back rubbing up against the

My Not Entirely Serious Predictions for Season Four of Sherlock

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The BBC's “Sherlock” is among the most popular shows on TV, and there has been much speculation among die-hard fans like myself about what the upcoming fourth season will hold. Having consulted my own crystal ball, here's what I see happening: Irene…

Peshawar kids

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a dark day

The First Time

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The summer I turned fourteen I had a job babysitting our neighbor, Pam's three year old daughter, Annie, three nights a week while Pam was going to Junior College, but it was hardly work because, after I tucked Annie in to sleep, I just watched TV, sitting in Pam's den…