1892 4 3
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I execute my plan (conceived hours earlier while painting toenails) to go next door to the 7-11 clone and buy some coffee. I am too lazy to walk six blocks to the grocery store. I understand that this is a problem but I will deal with it later I swear. …
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27620
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Let's go through this one more time, the account holder, my grandmother is deceased. Dead people don't pay medical bills.
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22620
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Multi-national Fortune 500 conglomerate seeks industry certified person for position of 2nd assistant document disassembly engineer.
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2530
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One of the women is a brassy blonde, and when she takes off her coat, I almost choke on a french fry. She's wearing a t-shirt with some writing on it. "Good girls do bad things," it says.
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3794
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I sat at the back of the room, leaning forward, and staring at the carpet as the boss man talked. He told us that thirty-four out of thirty-five alcoholics die drunk. I watched the spiders on the floor--big ones, next to my feet. I sat up and looked…
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1300
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The kitten shows up one morning. When my wife opens the door, he waltzes right in. "Hiya," he says. "Whatcha got to eat?" Then we spot another one. A bit on the shy side. Takes us a while to catch her and bring her into the…
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2311
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The salesman had a brand new car. It was a Dodge. Dark green and shiny. The boy saw him cruising main street, then parking in front of the pool hall. The boy stood outside on the sidewalk with his hands in his pockets, his cap pulled low over his…
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2962111
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He may be caught between bell boys shifting on their legs, business men loosening their ties; if he’s not there, I will find him, sliced in many skinny little fragments of sashimi. I can wait all night long in a red lobby full of geeks, listening to ele
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120133
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Right there is where I lived when I was five. The walls were paper, I was afraid of the neighborhood kids, and my dad broke the tv during the World Series.
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700
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Then we put on our costumes. I was Adam, and she was Eve.
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133133
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A patchwork of fonts, the best of the world’s Sunday editions, selections from the Crayola 64 to fill in blanks. The note threatens, a finger at a time, a toe per day, then it’s organs.
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138072
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In the kitchen they discovered the instruments. A flute under the sink tucked behind a rusted silver pipe. An oboe on the floor in the pantry. And a violin across the ice tray in the freezer, now dark.
"Not ice," sister said, holding it up by the neck.
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19693519
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The gull put its foot down, stretched its wings out and swept into the salty breeze.
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1555224
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I didn’t understand, you said with a hoot, that it was hard to get hard when my ass was soft.
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9564
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She gives me the finger, goes back to her book about time travel.
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