Congratulations On Your New Diagnosis! (Greeting Cards for People With Mental Problems)

by Roz Warren

Happy birthday to you and all of your personalities. 

Hope The Folks Who Are Out To Get You Fail.

Deepest Sympathy for the Loss of your Imaginary Friend. 

Happy Anniversary to you and the Cuisinart whose commands rule your life. 

Roses are Red/Violets are Blue/The DSM 5/Is All About You 

Enjoy your trip to Narnia!

Just Wondering - Did you turn the door knob the correct number of times when you left your house this morning? 

Congratulations on Skyping With God. 

So Glad You're My Friend! Hope nothing happens to you on Your Way To Work!  

Here's hoping the voices in your head always say nice things.

Congratulations! You alone, out of all of humanity, have been chosen to Survive the Coming Apocalypse. 

So glad you're out of lock-up. May all your dreams come true!

Thinking of You: Sure hope that odd little growth on your back is benign! 

So Happy To Hear That You're Expecting and That The Baby's Dad is Brad Pitt.    

You're the Center of the Universe? Mazel Tov! 

Sorry you've been down. There's nothing you can do about it and nothing to live for anyway!

Happy July Fourth! Hope this is the year Everyone finally Recognizes that you Really Are Betsy Ross. 

A New Bundle of Joy!  Just What Your Caseworker Needs -- A Challenging New Generation.  

Feel Better Soon. Your Next Disease is Right Around the Corner. 

Congrats on your acquittal. Hope they never figure out where you stashed the bodies. 

Welcome To The Neighborhood. We're All Watching You! 

(By: Roz Warren, Isaac Blum and Kate Stone) (www.rosalindwarren.com)