There are several reasons, she told me, why you might not have fingerprints.
A few folks are actually born without them. (That's called adermatoglyphia.) Some medications can "erase" them. (A good case of poison ivy can do this too, but only temporarily.) They can also wear out if you use your finger tips too much. Bricklayers often end up "sanding" theirs down. If you're a secretary, your prints are also at risk -- handling all that paper can wear down the ridge detail.
I'm a writer who also works at her local public library. Between writing for hours every day and using the computers at work to check material in and out, I keep my fingertips very busy.
But just as likely a culprit? My age. I'm 63. "As we get older," the technician explained, "our fingerprints can become too faint to register."
So, as the lines on my face grow more pronounced, the lines on my finger prints are fading away?
All I can say is that it's a damn shame it's not the other way around.
Still, look on the bright side -- if I ever commit a heinous crime I won't have to wear latex gloves!
As it turns out, everyone else at work who got scanned has finger prints, except for one other woman who is, like me, an AARP-aged librarian.
I'm tempted to phone her up and propose that the two of us get together and rob a bank. Instead of Ocean's Eleven we can call it Librarian's 364.1523. (That's the Dewey Decimal Number for true crime.)
Maybe we'll do it to raise sorely needed funds for our library. Or to fund research into what the hell happened to our fingerprints.
Or perhaps we'll just fund our escape to a tropical island where we can lounge on the beach all day, wearing down our fingerprints by hoisting pina coladas and toasting to a stressfree and fingerprint-free future.
If your phone refuses to recognize you, give me a call. You're welcome to join us.
(Roz Warren www.rosalindwarren.com writes for everyone from the New York Times to the Funny Times.)
Damn...you've got me staring at my fingertips! (I can't find mine, either.)
"All I can say is that it's a damn shame it's not the other way around." Great fun! *
Great stuff! Enjoyed!
*
Loved it.
*****
Wow.
Glad you enjoyed it. Thanks for taking the time to tell me.
Good piece, Roz.
Well, Roz, welcome to the 21st Century. I feel your pain, I love your slice-of-life stories. And don't even go to PC. Keep writing. Live it all.
"Snubbed -- by my own phone."
So much fun- -and thought provoking!
*, Roz. I really enjoy your work. I defy anyone to read your stuff without smiling...largely.
You're funny.