Author meets unflattering reviewer in bar

Yeah.

(They could've recognized each other from their pics, if GV had one uploaded to his public profile. But I don't think it matters.)

That is an interesting repetition of the word "suck." The ambiance of the piece completely works for me, taking me into a dark and/or seedy bar where failed authors go to cry in their beer.

I considered having the author pour the rest of his beer down GV's shirt, but realized most writers can't afford to waste their beer.

"Advancing the incredulity of this chance encounter to an even more absurd level of happenstance, the two men, who had never met, somehow instantly recognized one another."
Fiction, eh? I think not. And being in faving mood, I will *

So it sucked, what do you expect for two ninty nine? *

Tks, Carol, you skeptic, you!

Why, literature, of course, Mykell! Hell, now it's down to .99 and I'm sure to some "readers" it still sucks, altho it got 632 downloads during a weeklong free promotion, so I'm told. Sometimes the light's all shinin' on me, other times I can hardly see..., so they sing. ;-)

and crying in their beer? Now that sucks! What a waste!

At least he didn't spit it on the guy, or worse, pour the rest of the good beer on him -- altho that might have been worthwhile.

Jerry, the tears make the beer saltier, so nothing wasted.

Matthew -

"altho it got 632 downloads during a weeklong free promotion, so I'm told."

Thought you said this was *fiction* - that's a lotta detail for, um, er, something you, ah, made up. Ahem.

Two tired egos passing in the night?*

Sally, actually what I was told was 682 free downloads. I've also been told that the imagination of the dedicated fictionalist holds detail in an almost religious awe. I do try to live up to that expectation.

John, it sure as hell seems to look that way, don't it.

Thanks, all, for the visit to my wee fiction emporium.

I am going to read more of your pieces, Matthew. :)

Thank you, Kait!

Ya ya. Good good. Did not suck.

Sucking is relative.

No, did not suck.

Yes, sucking is relative. Literature, likewise.

...clacketyclkacketyclacketydingdingding...This just in: another episode of "GV the Amazon Reviewer" in the pipeline. Release embargoed until later today...clacketyclacketyclackety...

Ha ha. I like both of these guys. I think I like the unexceptional heartbeats best...

I panned a novel by Patricia Cornwell one time on Amazon but there's no ghost of a prayer of a chance she'd ever show up at my corner tavern so I am in the clear. Whew, because authors immediately recognize their reviewers. Amazon plants a microchip in us while we are sleeping. Oh yes it DOES! fave.

Thanks, Deborah and Gita. Soon as this piece clears the feed I have a sequel to put up. It seems GV has been cited today by the Fictional Society of Pusillanimous Negative Blurbists as rookie of the week!

I just love the lack of affect. Fave*

That was my mood at the time, Gloria. The one I'm waiting to post when this one slides off the front has a slightly different slant. Thanks for the fave.

Great slice, Mathew. Second sentence of the first paragraph - perfect! *

Fave, Mathew. Missed it before.

Dry fun. I love the last line (how do men do that so nonchalantly?) *

I read the review. It was nasty and undeserved I might add. I have one of those "writer meets writer" stories, too, quite different in tone but same length and setting...http://bit.ly/nZG5ej

Loved this. You captured the humour of this situation so perfectly. *

Uh oh, I'm a tad behind here. Took a week off to get Sacrifice formatted for CreateSpace. It's up now - paperback's $9.97, a price I could never have come near when I went with Booklocker. This is cheaper than Amazon allows non-Amazon pubs to charge for ebooks.

I'll respond to each of you personally, and, Marcus, will read your piece next. Thanks, all, for keeping this one alive!

Opinions are like credit cards: Everybody's got one. But some have good credit, some don't. Then there are assholes like yours cum grano salis: I don't have a credit card, meaning I likely have TERRIBLE credit. So you are welcome to take my opinion with a keg of salt: whether in the story or in "reality," the reviewer sucks; sucks on his beer, sucks on his stool, sucks on his word choice. Hey, this was fun -- thanks for posting and it made my Saturday morning so that translates cybernetically as FAVE.

typical guy communication. Love it!

What happens when "things converge" ... and, uh, that's it?

Well, now we know.

Thanks for that!

I like "on a sour whim." It sounds like a cocktail. And your right that most writers can't afford to waste their beer. A fun read.

You're right, that is!

That ending is pitch-perfect. "*"

AS IF!!!

Man, I so love this that I am going to pretend that I wrote it and go about feeling proud all day.
****

Ha! I just realized that I commented on this piece over a year ago. I love senility. I can re-read stories and feel like it's the first time.

Gotta love understatement.

With some of the shit that my stuff's took down the years from online enemies, and even an editor, I found this pretty amusing. I've always wondered what would happen if I were in this position with people who've rejected my work.

Sooooooo good, Matt. Setting and tone and reactions perfect. But the end a wonder and unexpected. Sigh, wish I could behave so well.

Wow, Mathew. I loved this! So much said in so few words.

Wow, so many folks still reading this. It's pure fiction, you should know, altho it was prompted by a "review" someone left on Amazon for one of my novels. Pretty sure I know who it was, as the former editor of mine unfriended me on Facebook within a day or two of the "review" showing up. Political argument, as I recall.

Thanks, all, for your kind and interesting comments.

I remember this... and still love it..
Miss you.. just trying to move from ay to day.

Hi, Linda. Thanks for stopping by. I miss you, too. Love to see you post here some more.

So low key and perfect with "bar brawl" opportunity.
Loved this.

Okay, that was fun. Cheers my man. Why not? *

Just came across this one--simple and funny! *

Clear, clear prose. Wonderful. You make it look effortless. Not a wasted word. Funny too. Made me laugh. Thanks.

Mathew, I'm afraid I'm untouched by this splendidly economical fiction, as I'm in such euphoria at the $11.12 just deposited to my account for 90 days of Kindle sales.

You might consider your Jan 9 response as an ending, appended to the existing image of resigned acceptance. The concept of 1-9 is piercingly funny because it is oh so true.

One of my favorites of yours. I can just hear you telling this!

Has the feel of an Edward Hopper painting

Perfect box of slow venom and truth.

**

Haven't been here in a while, and am flabbergasted by the kind words that have accumulated for this little piece in the four years since my last visit. Thank you, friends!

Brevity is the soul of wit. Happy to report this bit of "fiction" does not suck.