Author meets unflattering reviewer in bar

by Mathew Paust

It was one of those incredible literary coincidences destined to reside in Wiki annals forever.  GV, who on a sour whim had stretched his writing chops just once in his life to post a "customer review" on Amazon, found himself seated on a bar stool next to the stool holding the man whose $2.99 ebook he'd lambasted as "the worst novel I have ever read."

Advancing the incredulity of this chance encounter to an even more absurd level of happenstance, the two men, who had never met, somehow instantly recognized one another.  The author, an overweight, balding, dull-looking fellow of advanced years, swallowed the mouthful of beer he'd just sucked from his half-empty glass and turned to GV, a younger, fitter man who looked up from his beer, and rotated his head to face the other.

"Why?" the author said in a voice mild with curiosity.

GV waited a dozen or so unexceptional heartbeats, brow furrowed in thought, then relaxed his features and answered straightforwardly, "Sucked."  He stared agape at the word's recipient.

The author stared back a dozen or so unexceptional heartbeats, face open, before nodding slowly that he understood. 

Both men returned to their beers.