Gasp and Dash
by Mathew Paust
I took a deep breath and turned the key. I pushed the door open just far enough to see. I backed out, closed the door and turned the key again. I walked to my car, knelt down and placed in front of the right front tire the little box with the holes in it that held the parakeet I was bringing to her as an anniversary gift. I got into the car, slammed the door, started the engine, drove over the little box with the holes in it, hearing the nasty crunch whilst fighting to suppress an overly excited imagination that thought it heard a tiny soprano squawk, as well, looked in the mirror to make sure the little box was squashed flat, snorted through a flash of conflicted satisfaction, and headed downtown to find a divorce lawyer.
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26
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48 comments |
138 words
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Author's Note
This won the 87th flash fiction contest at The Speakeasy
Other stories by Mathew Paust
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Matthew,
fave! first of all.
This is a GREAT start to a whole damn novel!
Go for it.
Poor bird. *
Jerry, I'm grateful for your encouragement, except my heart was not in this, not one little bit. I slept little last nite worrying about the poor damned bird, you must believe me! It's a damned flash-fiction contest and the rules are ironclad. The bird must die!
As you can see, Lynn, I agree.
(Lynn, the HTML seal evidently doesn't transfer to the Speakeasy grid, so I had to re-submit from another blogsite.)
I've wanted to do that to my wife's bird, too, for a different reason, perhaps, but I still can relate. Nice little story. *
Love this, Mathew. Told with skill. *
Thanks, Mykell and Foster. It's not too late to enter this contest, btw. Check in the fora for the one titled "I took a deep breath and turned the key." I think we have all day to submit entries.
Well done. What fun to get so much from such a little prompt. Good stuff.*
Tks, Joani. You might give it a try. Click on the seal or follow the link in the forum titled "I took a deep breath and turned the key." I think they're taking entries all day.
bonanza!
Tks, JC
Good flash. Poor bird.
I feel more sorry for the narrator than for the bird. Nice.
Ouch! Well done.
Thanks, guys. I hated to do that to the poor bird, but rules are rules.
Fave, Mathew. Your story says so much in just 138 words.
Oh the sound that you capture and imagine. Compact and brilliant! *
Thank you much, David and Quirina. I think you would enjoy the other nine entries in this contest, as well. I'm new to flash fiction, but feel I'm starting to get the hang of it. Kinda fun.
Can't believe I nearly missed this one. Dense and quirky.*
Thanks, Gary. I think it won, but I haven't been notified.
Love this little piece. No wasted space. Great ending. Fav.
Thanks, Jen.
Comgrats!
I can see how it won. But I'm kind of partial to birds. Still yet . . . *
Thanks, guys. Adam, hope you're doing better (not the writing, the breathing!)
Beate, I am, too. Routinely rescue birds from our cats and hide them in the woods. This story popped up suddenly as a comment to the contest challenge. Must've been my inner demon speaking!
Like the story. Hate what happened to the bird. Read your apology. Now appreciate your writing.
Great piece, but poor parakeet. Nice tension. Faved.
What's wrong with you? Very odd. Very wrong. I love it! *
Poor little bird. Somehow I wish you had run over her lover dressed in a Big Chicken suit. Woulda served them right. (Joke)Congratulations on your win. *
Thanks, guys! I forgot to check back on this one. Janice, good thing you didn't enter the contest or you'd have won.
Now that I think of it, this reminds me of the poem a teacher told us in junior high (his contract was not renewed). Something like: A little birdie woke me up a'singing on the sill. The window was open so I got up and approached where he sweetly sang. I gave the window a forceful yank and crushed his fücking skull. I laffed, and then felt awful.
Oh, nasty subject, but great story.
Oy... the poor bird. Sounds like was a quick death.
Heartbreaking. Very well-written.
Almost never comment on older pieces, but I completely love what you did here.*
You found what lies beneath.
I like this. It's very witty. Shame about the parakeet.
Thank you kindly, Samantha Memi, Ginnetta Correli, Tara, Amanda, Yasmin Waring and Lain Robb.
I keep forgetting to check on these older pieces.
This is a good one. Killing the bird gave this something extra whereas it might have just been a sketch otherwise. I've noticed you use the word "whilst" here and there, in this one and others. I think you're the last writer giving this word some work. Generous of you, man.
Thanks, Sheldon. As I remember the prompt challenge meant something had to die, possibly a bird. It's the only prompt challenge I've ever tried.
That was pretty brutal... but well written.
It really got me
Gasping here at first, indeed, Mathew, then I read your comments. Ah yes, there be rules!Off to read another.
Thanks, Linda and Myra.
Ouch! I love parakeets. No fave this time. It couldn't be helped. Cheers my man!
Damn, Matt!
* Let's make it 25
Tks, youz guyz!
Oh, this is wonderful. That opening. Just mesmerizing work.
Yikes!