by Mathew Paust
So
At the end of the day
If we can learn to think outside the box
By all means
We should make it a team effort,
We expect you to get with the program,
Push the envelope
And give 111 percent,
But I'm available to talk about it,
I am a people person
And my door is always open.
Once we have agreed to a paradigm shift
We expect you to hit the ground running
Touching base with a win-win market-driven benchmark
Our user-friendly approach
Has raised the bar of scalability
In an impactful synergistic strategy
Going from good to great
Now more than ever
It is time to step up to the plate
And be proactive.
That being said,
We will not throw you under the bus
In terms of game-changing dynamics,
However, it may be incumbent
Upon the functionality parameters
To find a turnkey solution
Before leading the charge
With level-set incentives
At any given time
Notwithstanding a ramp-up of take-aways
To kick the can down the road.
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Who in hell is to blame for the annoying trend of introducing statements with "So"? What's really disappointing is to think it started on NPR.
This doesn't fit in the poem, but whence the trend to secularize Islam? As in "Islamist"? Is "Islamic" now "Islamistic?" I guess "Muslim" and "Moslem" are laughably obsolete? Is this another reason they hate us?
Is it OK to say WTF here?
Like it.
You just summed up all the reasons I left corporate America. I cringed every time I heard these. But here, they made me smile. *
Once I built a railroad.
I made it run.
I made it run against time.
Once I built a railroad.
Now it's done.
Buddy can you par-a-digm.
Sorry.
Couldn't help myself.
I like this.
Thanks, guys. You're good, James.
Just on time. *
Tks, Mykell.
Bizspeak becomes found art collage. I like it.
Remind of the time I sat in meetings an talked at "concretizing initiatives."*
Thanks, Garys. Be nice if by poeticizing these chestnuts they would disappear. I learned the word "interface" in one of those meetings. I presume it was new to the introducer, as she used it five or six times during her monologue, searching our faces for signs of appreciation she was au currant state-of-the-speakwise.
Speakwise... now that takes one back to the mid-fifties, epoch-ly speaking.
Thanks for this, Matthew. You've incentivised me to get back in the box.*
I think we're on the same page.
Thank you, people, but the train has already left the station.
Maybe the train has left the station, so I'll just graffiti on the wall that I like your poem, rich with subtext. *
Cool! Liked very much! Thanks for posting this one.
As a new freelance writer, I think this poem just took care of my next three assignments.
I hope your work generates buzz.
I was an executive once and now I coach them, among other things. The war against bullshit is a war worth waging at all levels. Accurate anger here.
Thanks, much, Quirina, Darryl, Adam and Marcus. I'm fairly new here and am still getting accustomed to the notion of posts surviving beyond there brief time on the cover. I'm grateful for your reading and your generous comments.
What was the “ask” here? This would be funny if I didn’t live with it every day.
My sympathies, Steven. I parted ways with the employment harness nearly a decade ago. Still get the deliquescing nightmares.
Thanks for the headsup. At this time I am unable to determine how your input will impact other stakeholders. I'll run this by my supervisor and get back to you in a timely manner. Press 69 to leave a message. Thought I'd share with you: this robot was manufactured in Fairfax County just outside the city of Alexandria, up there in the Northern Neck. This robot has since become a loose cannon in the Great Northwest.
Oh, my what I've missed having never ventured into the business world! Wordsmithing, phrasesmithing, excellence. Smiled at every line.
Thank you, too, for reading and commenting so kindly on Sin.
This seems very effectively written as a poem. It seems maybe to be composed of slogans. Slogan in the dictionary comes from Gaelic, to my surprise when I looked it up not long ago. I had half-expected Chinese origin of the word. I wish for a Gaelic-American dictionary (beside any point I may wish to make about the poem). Good work! *
Spot on!
I like this. You've been very clever in your use of corporate cliches for satirical purposes, and structurally this is very easy on the ear. Not one single clumsy line break. Very good.
I've been remiss. Am so far behind checking comments here I'm mortified with embarrassment. I'd send individual messages of thanks were I not afraid some of you are no longer here. For now, tho, many thanks, Willie, Nonnie, Ann, Yasmin and Iain.
James is good isn't he!:-)
SOL = Smile Out Loud ( :) )
Myra and Reva, a belated thanks. I'm SOLing, too.