My mother was an upright piano, spine erect, lid tightly closed, unplayable except by the maestro. My father was not the maestro. My father was the piano tuner; technically expert, he never made her sing. It was someone else's husband who turned her into a baby Grand.
How did I know? She told me. During the last weeks, when she was bent, lid slightly open, ivories yellowed.
“Every Tuesday,” she said. “Midday. A knock at the door.”
The first time, I froze. A grown woman myself, I listened to my mother talk and was back playing with dolls and wasps' nests. I cut my visit short. My mother didn't notice. She'd already fallen asleep.
The second time, I asked questions.
“Mother,” I said. “He....came round. On Tuesdays. How many?”
“We are fallen stars, he said to me,” whispered my mother, the formerly-upright piano. “You and me, he said. And then he would take my hand.” She closed her eyes, smiled.
My father, the tuner, never took anyone's hand. He was sharp, efficient. I searched my mother's face for another hint or instruction.“Should I find myself one?” I wanted to ask. “A fallen star? A maestro? Am I like you?” But she had stopped talking and begun to snore gently. I sat with her, watching the rise and fall of her chest and the way her fingers fluttered in her lap, longing for arpeggios to dance across my stiffening keys.
36
favs |
5529 views
52 comments |
263 words
All rights reserved. |
This story won the 2009 Binnacle Ultra-Short competition and was broadcast on BBC Radio 4 as part of a week of my flash fiction. It's the title story of my new collection, available May 3rd 2012 from Tangent Books!
This story has no tags.
Tania, this is an excellent flash piece. Congrats on the distinctions you received for it!
Christian, thanks so much! I actually, in all the excitement, forgot to mention that it also won the Binnacle Ultra-Short comp last year. It's been a good year for this story!
Just perfect. I can well see why it won!
Brilliant, I'm so pleased to see this written up. The broadcast of it was haunting, became an instant favourite. Also you inspired 'my mother is a fountain pen' which is still unwritten, but on my prompts list for a rainy day.
Susan, thank you so much!
Claire - you'd better write that, I'm waiting...!
It is a winner. You hit every note perfectly.
Excellently done! Brilliant opening and closing paragraphs. This deserved to win.
Punctuation quibble:
“We are fallen stars, he said to me” whispered my mother, the formerly-upright piano. “You and me, he said. And then he would take my hand.” She closed her eyes, smiled.
Rather:
“'We are fallen stars,' he said to me,” whispered my mother, the formerly-upright piano. “'You and me,' he said. And then he would take my hand.” She closed her eyes, smiled.
Wonderful, Tania! The writing is just lovely, a beautiful extended metaphor. Congratulations!
Kim, thank you!
Bill, you are quite right. I'm ashamed, I'm a stickler for punctuation!
Kathy, thank you so much, that means a lot.
This has a dreamlike quality - I love how the mother drifts away from the questions. Beautiful.
In every thought there shoul be the debris of a smile and in every story too--and here you win me utterly with this simple conceit carried out superbly. Grins. Faves.
In every thought there shoul be the debris of a smile and in every story too--and here you win me utterly with this simple conceit carried out superbly. Grins. Faves.
This is such a great piece. Strong writing. Big like, Tania.
"I don't know how no one showed you how to unfold your love."--George Harrison
..technically expert, he never made her sing..I listened to my mother talk and was back playing with dolls and wasps' nests..“We are fallen stars, he said to me,” whispered my mother, the formerly-upright piano. “You and me, he said. And then he would take my hand.” ..this to me is so beautiful and so right. A fave.
Wonderful. Wonderful characters. Wonderful story telling. A prize winner for sure.
This is beautiful! Love it.
Wow. A love story of another kind. Peace...
Gosh, what a delight to wake up this morning to all these lovely comments!
Martha - thank you!
James, so glad it had you grinning!
Sam, thank you so much!
Darryl, what a lovely comment, great George Harrison lyric, I really like how you paired that with my story.
Jack - thank you!
Cynthia, thanks so much, glad you liked it.
Linda, thank you, I hadn't really thought of it like that.
add me to this list. As a mother, it chilled me
Thank you so much, Estelle, very kind of you to comment.
Tania - Exceptional! The first paragraph is a stunner and the daughter's questioning is beautiful.
Tania, I loved the way the mother went from 'upright' to ‘baby Grand’. Someone else's husband, even though he was not the piano tuner, softened her edges and brought out her vulnerability. Tuned her to life you could say.
fav
Powerful. So many resonating images and layers. And what an arc of life in those few questions, in the irriation of the daughter, first about her mother, then about herself: "Am I like you?"
Yes, Fav.
I love how much is going on here. What a wonderful flash. We see whole lives and loves intertwined in this short piece. Complicated, textured. Harmony and some disharmony. It's all there. Congrats!!
Jim, thank you so much!
Myra, that's a lovely image, thank you.
Dorothee, thanks so much, it's wonderful when people see in a short story so much more than I saw or knew when I was writing is.
Michelle, thank you!
Perfect, perfect!! Huge love for this!
So good. A deep humanity here, I saw it all clearly
Surprised I missed this. Absolutely stunning.
Thanks so much Meg, Susan and James, your comments really mean a lot to me.
This is great stuff. "technically expert, he never made her sing"--for that alone, it should be required reading for all technical experts anyway.
Beate, that's very kind of you, I will send it to the Piano Tuners' Association!
Tania, it’s a lovely piece. Congrats!
Thank you so much, Kari!
The story here is great, but the thing that stands out to me the most is the chop-chop and urgent sentence lengths. It's that sort of decision on the part of a writer that brings tone front and center in a story and makes it paramount, something that was done so well here.
A scene of lonely longing. The Mother/Daughter/Piano metaphor make a perfect Drama Triad. It's a winner, all right!
Wow. Very nice.
This is so good, Tania. Easy to see why it's been so well received. Fav.
Sheldon, thank you so much for your lovely comment, I like the phrase "urgent sentence lengths", I will remember that.
Ramon, thank you very much!
Stephanie - thanks!
Mark, that's very kind of you, glad you enjoyed it.
so happy to have found this story today. a well-deserved win, Tania - congrats!
Tania,
I really liked this. Perfectly tuned and in a sad minor key.
This is a wonderful story, Tania. Great writing.
Julie, what a lovely thing to say, thank you!
Marko, thanks so much for reading it.
Ravi, thanks, that means a lot.
Well done! Lovely writing.
Thank you, Melissa!
Glorious!
my mother is a sad guitar
and me, in my blue period
reading this, late (as usual)
as jim says,
the debris of a grin
Judith - thank you!
Gary, that's beautiful, love it!
omg, how did I miss this? Beautiful ideology (do you think your generation invented sex?), exquisite execution! Brava!
Thank you, Juhi!
This is absolutely stunning!!!! ***
Thank you so much, Bobbi!
*