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Let me tell you a story, child, of how your father became your father...
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20342221
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My first love was a woman of principle. Never deny your man was her motto.
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32392723
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Thornapples will make you dream things that never were.
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26455635
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In between, they love each other madly, fuck like the rare....
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18652423
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That evening I sat and watched the sunset. The color of the water changed from blue to black. The sky turned from pink to star-spangled ebony. There was no moon.
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362266
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[JESUS LOVES YOU MORE THAN ANYBODY, BUT HE'S DEAD. NO-ONE COULD EVER LOVE YOU AS MUCH, OR YOU THEM, SO DON'T EVEN TRY. HAVE A NICE LIFE! MERRY CHRISTMAS, EVERYONE!]
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314075
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If I wrote a war novel my wife would be killed off before our relationship figured out our differences. Like her being really Asian and me being just so-so Asian.
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25483313
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The summer she turned 17, she had to hold all the pieces of herself together with a red ribbon she tore off an old dress. It wound its way around her neck, her heart and her throat. It snaked down to her hips, the curve of her thighs, and wrapped itself
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44395919
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First published on www.humortimes.com
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74242017
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The woman returns from the store with an armload of books. She reads them quickly, one by one, over the course of the next few weeks. But when she opens the last one, the woman frowns in surprise.
All the pages in the book are blank.
Every single one.
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22822018
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The doctor told me:
"You have 24 hours
to live.
no more, no less."
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27823331
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She was a dead bird the morning I found her, wings clipped in dirt and blood vanished into tiny braille maps on concrete.
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33293531
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I am not against the darkness / I can learn to live with restraint
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29723015
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After our date, my sister, who has a boyfriend, came over with her Weimaraner. I started instantly to tell her of my sex with Nils. She shirked the conversation, tried to change the subject, and more than once, I persisted. I wanted her to hear about it.
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24682911
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...her touch held such wisdom that it put babies to sleep...
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22424327
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"I would date a dog," she says.
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20263731
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Under the tree of the one apple, the Tin Man waited for his Tin Woman. He wanted to ask her to become his Tin Wife.
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20723724
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I ate a novel. I digested a film reel. I vomited poetry.
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25452915
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Then the moon cried real white tears.
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26296024
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She’s waving, Hey, I’m home! Like nothing’s happened. Like weeks haven’t passed since she left.
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312684
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The first thing Vera did after her dismissal from the mortuary was buy a pack of cigarettes.
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30274529
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He sat on a leather couch in the nude, blew smoke rings shaped like wild animals and picked verses out of the thick air.
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37803223
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And God said, Let us create a being in our image, after our likeness, for God was alone in the universe.
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30405229
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If you consider yourself neither little nor big, remember that anything large, colossal, macroscopic, ample, sizable, blown-up, bulky, mighty was once small, lesser, minute, tiny, dinky, gnomish, weeny or lilliputian.
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34194621
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You make a mental note of the rising number of people that know you. You vow to trim the list.
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29874133
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It was one of the first things she did after they opened the wall. That’s at least what she told me years later, more than 1000 miles from Berlin.
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25124027
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And in the end, when there was nothing left and we all had come to look like whispers, we ate the sun.
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32824131
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35002816
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He looked at the receiver in his hand as it hummed its dead-line song. His hand shook. Shit, he thought.
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288285
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Elizaveta still wore her winning smile, the one that only charmed. She looked up suddenly: “Watch out, Pushkin! (falls over Gogol) “Watch out, Gogol!” (falls over Pushkin).
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