by Jack Swenson
What We Talk About
My first love was a woman of principle. Never deny your man was her motto. She would do it at the drop of a hat. Any time, any place. I still remember the girl's name. Flora. Lovely young woman. Generous. If she had a thing, and you wanted it, you could have it and welcome.
She liked to have sex in odd places, too, which I also enjoyed. Once we made love on the springboard of a swimming pool.
In high school I was in love with a tiny girl with a face like a ferret. She wore glasses, too. In college we had a few steamy sessions, but we never went all the way. She liked older men. Artists. Later on she was friendly with a famous poet who killed himself by jumping off a bridge. My friend Tom had his way with her once. Tom was a musician; he was getting his PhD in psychology. She liked his beard, he said. After he shaved it off, she was no longer interested.
When We Talk About Love
Andy was married. His wife scared me. She was a sleepy looking redhead. Andy would give me a ride home from work, and sometimes he'd pick up his wife, too. We'd all sit in the front seat. I tell you, that Carolyn wasn't shy. One time she grabbed me and kissed me. Andy got a big kick out of that. He laughed and laughed. “You shoulda seen the look on your face,” he said.
Andy gave me some advice one day. "Do it slow," he said. "In, out, in, out. Move it from side to side a little, too. Women like that."
I remembered my friend's advice when I popped Jody Anderson's cherry. I moved it slowly in and out. I moved it from side to side, too. Jody moaned and groaned, and then she whispered in my ear. "Do it faster!"
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From Echoes & Disconnects, Vol. 2
"If she had a thing, and you wanted it, you could have it"
I guess that sums it up!
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You've known some good women, Jack. And you tell about them real well.
'Never deny your man was her motto.'
She must have been a saint.
Great phrasing and tone, Jack: "Andy was married. His wife scared me. She was a sleepy looking redhead. Andy would give me a ride home from work, and sometimes he'd pick up his wife, too. We'd all sit in the front seat."
Really like how you use Carver's work as a backdrop here. One of your best pieces. Yes.
The two sections are quite effective, and I agree with Sam that you really pulled off using Carver for this.
Excellent, Jack. You and Carver fit well together.
One of your strongest disconnects, Jack. The spaces between these people are vast even when part a goes into part b.
Little Carver soap sculptures. Elegantly done.
Just super. Peace *
Ah damn good one!
Very good! And such simple, curt descriptions of the woman, ferret face, sleepy looking redhead, these work so well! Love the ending...
You write characters so well in such tight spaces. I'm continuously amazed.
I love how you write about these women with such kindness and understanding. Just awesome. *
Great short - so funny, Jack, and there's a real sense of generosity and sweetness to it that's just great.
Jack, Jack, Jack, you never fail to entertain me. These are wonderful!
nice. Do it faster. Love it
Like the snapshots--concise insights. Love the tone--the way you handle the intimate w/o making a sticky mess. Great title and fitting.
"a face like a ferret" - perfection. Sharp as always, Swenson. *
So much for advice! Carveresque, yes, but so very Swenson.
Well...of course! Great work again, Jack. *
I clicked on the title at the mere mention of Carver, and you certainly did not disappoint. *
I love the opening lines here. The first surprises because the reader thinks, well, what is this narrator doing with a 'woman of principle'? And then we get to the second sentence, and the moment is just wonderful. So funny, so engaging. The whole thing.
I really like how the pieces fit together but don't quite fit together... a bit like the characters, hehe, funny how you did that.
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Fine work all around, Jack.