Most read stories

Winnie the Pooh and the Very Medicated Day

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One day, when Rabbit was taking his medications, Tigger bounced his carrots to smithereens and Rabbit had an idea. A wonderful, terrible idea.

Repair Man

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The repair man is conscientious in this as he is with all things, light with his fingers and his tongue. His hair falls over his eyes as he works her.

Cookie Monster's Harem in the Sky

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Last week I came home early from work and caught my wife having sex with the Cookie Monster.

Appetite(s)

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Listen, I don’t want to get all teary and here I am getting all teary, but it’s not what you think. What it is is that I think about that very first time, when she comes out of the bathroom completely naked and she looks like heaven’s very best neig

Solaris

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The night my mother dies we'd watched Solaris at the Quad Cinemas Afterward Hauser and I videotape each other, ask probing questions like where do you go when you die, and what is God, and who are you now? …

Goat

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But we tell them to each other. We feel we are riding on a boat in the well. That is our secret. We aren't. We know we aren't.

What Some Boys Do

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I squeeze the soft bag tighter between my legs.

Tran Siberian

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She was an easily lit, wide hipped, Stoli-drinking, schemer from Irkutsk that got her claws into an American riding the Iron Rooster from Khabarovsk to Moscow.

Someone Emailed Me Last Night and Asked if I Would Write About Nachos.

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I fell into a crevasse once. I jumped off a bridge once, right before a train was to hit me. Jumped off roofs several times. I have a thing for jumping. The truth is that everyone is bored, and devotes himself to nachos.

Orchard

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I used to score girls by taking them on a ride past Frauenstein, up on a hill where you could see the trees, the whole lot of them sparkling white and pink in the breeze.

Final Resting Place of The Pen

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Purchance to dream purchase ants to dream running Catalan sidewalk schoolyard fumble days berlin wall came tumbling down tumbling down tumbling down the mexico wall come tumbling down fuck you, Gorby. Head to radio, broadcast Hitler kill the generation di

Author meets unflattering reviewer in bar

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It was one of those incredible literary coincidences destined to reside in Wiki annals forever.

Shrinking

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Lately, while he is upon me, in that way that men are upon women, I imagine him a pornstar with only one clip available for replay. Like I am a loop of a video girl below, taking it, maybe calling out in Russian. When I feel rambunctious, I imagine him a

Day Care

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"This is where the children play," the woman said cheerily. She gestured toward the flat bed of a pickup truck. The edge was surrounded by a makeshift wooden fence that looked like it had been made out of old orange crates.

Off the record

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Writers, hopeful ones, hopeless ones, poets and petty penmen, worked as bartenders, librarians, substitute teachers, anything.

Untitled

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I had the day off so I decided to do some fishing, browsing for new writers at the fish tanks, book shelves filled with American Literature and I began near Zelazny, trolling backwards with an eye out, hunting, hoping to find a buried treasure in an unsun

The Photograph

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But if he's been photographing her for almost thirty years, there must be close to 11,000 images. During the session, they don't speak. And, after so long, words are not really necessary.

Sri Lanka

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When he turned to the quiet sound of her voice, he knew he'd heard her before, that she had already called out several times, and that she'd reached him somewhere in a recess of…

BOLO: Alfred Chester's Wig

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It was there, and then it wasn’t, the victim of a magician or a swooping seabird.

Bobby Fischer in Budapest

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Bobby Fischer hates anyone using his name. Movies, books, stories, news articles, games. Kasparov, Spassky, even Deep Blue—he cursed them for ever having thought of his name. Whoever's thinking my name right now—burn in hell!

Love at First Sight

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Life ascends gradually—just like they always said. I stop counting on immediate transformations—the overnight best-seller, instant enlightenment—and instead focus on what I can do: Writing a little each day and making it to Mass on the weekend. I even giv

Night Wreck

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You were watching TV when it began. That much is obvious, since you have always watched TV on Thursday nights, and Thursday was when it began for everyone in Polisville. Around 11 PM, a train on its way to a Nevada landfill jumped the tracks. It's a secure landfill, and the…

Artist Statement

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which consisted of me being shoved down a flight of stairs. Thanks to a PELL grant in 1996, I was triumphantly run-over by a family Winnebago in the critically acclaimed, Run-Over. This lead to a series of “happenings” I conducted in alternative space

Chemistry (Valentine's Day Massacre)

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Whenever we’re carressin’, I find you quite engrossin’, I’m filled with vasopressin endorphins and oxytocin.

Rites of Spring

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A tiny bear emerged from the cave of his mouth, grabbed the hair and pulled it on his lap to play with it.

Temporary

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That's what these companies do: swallow you whole and spit you out.

How To Love Like a Raven Loves

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ravens

Swan Song

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He ignored his scalded scrotum and listened intently. The music was beautiful beyond all physical pleasure or pain. The end of the piece gave him a deeper understanding of the expression 'la petite mort'. While he was still recovering, the next track b

The Locker Room

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"Buzz off," Jeff said. "You don't even know what a lesbian is."

O Saddam!

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Saddam Hussein was a street-side seller of hot nuts near Faneuil Hall. He worked undercover there during the last Gulf War until just after it, as the US slagged the Iraqis. If only they'd known while they video-bombed his underground bunkers and chased his doubles that…