by Javed Hayat
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And then one fine day, when the old man began to cough incessantly, fell down, and remained unmoved for minutes on end, the young boy threw the binoculars down, got hold of one of the little Stickman Sam dolls stolen from his younger brother and ran for the house across the street; knowing that time was the enemy to all the magic in this world.
Because our little boy knew how to cheat death, though the only thing bothering him was that he just hasn't quite perfected the art yet.
Once there, he leaned down and was relieved to find the old man with his eyes wide open, echoing loud irregular breaths.
There is still time, the boy realized; his young heart now a lucent dream in the wake of this newly found hope.
And with his eyes closed a little too tight, the little boy pressed the Stickman Sam against the failing heart of a dying old man and made a wish.
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Magical. Purely magical.
First-rate writing here, Javed. Magical, indeed.
Thanks to Sheldon for singling it out on his blog.
*
@Sheldon: Thanks a lot Sheldon. Cant appreciate enough.
@Matt: Thank you for a wonderful comment. Appreciate the read, Matt.
Saw this on Editor's Eye. Missed it the first time round. This is utterly beautiful and masterfully written.
@James: Thanks a lot. Appreciate the read.
Mysterious and lovely. Thank you...
This is lush and spare, perfectly combined to spin a wonderul, tight piece. Congratulations, Javed.
Fave.
@Deborah: Thanks a lot. Appreciate the read.
@Robert: Thanks a million. Appreciate the read and the fav.
Beautiful and magical. Well done. *
I love the imagination your narrative embodies, the mystery, the hope.
@Christian & Steven: Thanks a million guys. Appreciate the comment and fav.
Very real -
"Once there, he leaned down and was relieved to find the old man with his eyes wide open, echoing loud irregular breaths.
There is still time, the boy realized; his young heart now a lucent dream in the wake of this newly found hope."
Strong writing, Javed. The closing image is a good fit. Nice story. *
Thanks Sam. For your comment and the fav. Much appreciated.
These characters, this narrative, your language choices went straight to my heart.
A fine story of innocence and experience, with time as infirmity, enemy and end. Keep up all good work.
@Strannikov & Nonnie Augustine: Thank you so much for taking time out to read and for your kind comment/fav. Appreciate it.
Javed, this was so good! My favorite of what I've read of yours so far. Well done!
So sweet how children don't care how old you are, if they like you, that's all that. Nice story.
@Harry&Jeanette: Thanks a million guys.Cant appreciate enf :)
Javed, this not only captures the hope that is the innocence and blind faith of children, it resonates with magic and truth. Beautiful.
Thnx a lot Philip. Appreciate the read and the comment. :)