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After the funeral there was a luncheon in the church basement.

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“Spare change?” he asked the couple heading into the cineplex. They glanced at his brother, saw something was wrong with him, then at him, noting his dirty and disheveled state. They passed without a word, not even a head-shake.

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Her addiction started with dry roasted nuts, and quickly jumped to peanuts. At her worst, she was consuming a large glass jar of peanuts daily. She loved while hating their salty taste and greasy feel, the repetition of tossing them into her mouth. …

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It felt like I was somewhere I wasn’t supposed to be, like I’d walked into a house that looked like mine, but belonged to someone else.

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Tell Bono I want my seventy bucks back.

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Watching water fall in the longest waterfall/ becomes immediately tedious

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One day my wife got so mad at me she raked her fingernails down my face.

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His face was cold and hard as marble. Rudy’s angular features shuddered and twitched in the darkness.

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“Why, you tell a story,” one young fellow said. The expression on his face said “How gauche, how passé!”

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The effort involved in making my chocolate chip cookies, do you know? They're not easy. No. Not easy.

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There were trees where I lived and clean pavement

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my lawn, get off of it

Boxes

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I am long of tooth, too, and when I go, maybe a box with my ashes inside will join the boxes containing the cats’ remains.

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Our lips can touch, just touch. Our lips can touch, but they can't really touch.

once upon a time in Sumeria

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Suddenly there was a crash of thunder, and they raised their eyes for the first time heavenwards. That was the beginning of what we call civilisation. - adapted from Prolegomena to Work in Progress — Stuart GilbertIt's the third year of the third millenium,…

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Where we live, at the edge of the foothills at the east edge of town, fire is always a worry during the summer, and this has been an exceptionally dry year.

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After my father moved in with his girlfriend, my mother sold the split-level and rented a two-bedroom in an apartment complex rife with divorced mothers and the under-employed.

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My heart beat someone up the stairwell.

Funny Jokes

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Why was the broom late for work?

This is the Best Poem You'll Ever Read

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This is the best excerpt you'll ever read.