Things Worth Saving
It felt like I was somewhere I wasn't supposed to be, like I'd walked into a house that looked like mine, but belonged to someone else. She found me in the kitchen drinking a glass of water. Her eyes welled up and shone bright with what would soon form tears. I was in the right house, but at ten in the morning, I should've been somewhere else.
“How much do we have?” She always cut to what mattered most, and in that minute, what mattered most was money. She didn't care how I lost my job, she only cared that we were a step closer to poverty.
“We've got enough. Don't worry, I'll find something.” I didn't know how long it would take and we both knew the words were empty, but I said them anyway.
“And then?” Her voice rose; she was angry, but not at me.
“And then I'll find something,” I said, letting my tone match hers. “Where are the kids?”
She pointed toward the back yard.
I walked to the window and envied the innocence on the other side. “Where's the camera?” I asked. “I want to save this.”
“We sold it. The last time.”
About a month later, I was working again. With my first check, I bought another camera. Nothing fancy, just something that worked. Some things are more important to save than money.
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Author's Note
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Lots of compressed energy in this, Fos.
I like the optimism here. Strong story.*
Too true. Good one.
Yes, this is how people are. I want to help them and that means you're dead on in this.
Oh man, the strength and the worry, the one-step-from-despair, the no-not-again; been there. So well done, Forster.
"more important to save" - yes. Good piece. Nothing wasted here. *
I want to save this, too. Liked it a lot!
A story for precarious times. I like very much the way you evoke the feeling of being in the house at the wrong time of day, and then afterwards the emotional impact of the threat of poverty.
I also think you touch very nicely here on how a photograph captures something ephemeral, something one knows will be lost.
Thoughtful.Sad.Pleasure to read.
Yes, nice.
"She didn't care how I lost my job, she only cared that we were a step closer to poverty."
The wife kicks out, the mother kicks in. But the dad kicked in too, "Some things are more important to save than money."
You've caught it well and drummed up a sense of sympathy and horror.
Right there with the narrator. Right there.*
This is really good. Character, dialogue, arc, theme, language, and all so tight and well controlled.*
Your exercise a fine imagination well in this and so many others.
I love this. *
You can never take too many pictures of your children. Fave*
"With my first check, I bought another camera."
Great.
*
An extremely relevant piece. "...she was angry, but not at me." Such a discipline to look forward to an unknown future. Well captured here.*
You have a awesome prose style, Foster. *
Wow, you are good at the short form. This is so good.
I might think about cutting the last line. Because it is understood. It also might be me. I had a writing teacher once who was always cutting off the last line of things and I was amazed by how well it worked.
Fave, Foster. Lovely line: "I walked to the window and envied the innocence on the other side."