by Meg Tuite
“Your first time in the trench?”
I looked at Rudy and nodded my head. He handed me one of the TV remotes.
“You're going to need this. Just watch what I do and when you're ready, don't hesitate! Just aim and let her rip!”
We were sitting in a darkened room. Shadows played off of Rudy's gaunt, weathered face and ghostly hands. He was in a hospital bed, metal bars up on either side, so he wouldn't roll out during the night.
“Over on your left,” Rudy lifted his remote, “get ready, there's three of them. Keep your head low and your eyes open. I'm right behind you.”
I lifted my remote and aimed it toward the left corner of the room where Rudy had pointed. I pushed some buttons and added some sound like I'd done as a child when I was shooting off one of my toy guns.
“Excellent,” Rudy said. “You really have a knack for this. You're going to make it, son. You'll be okay.”
I thanked him and put a straw to his parched lips. “It's hot out here, tonight. Take a sip out of my canteen,” I said.
“Thanks, partner,” Rudy said. He was unable to pull liquid from a straw anymore, so I had filled the straw, held my finger to it and let it drain slowly into his mouth.
“This is going to be a long night,” Rudy said. “I can feel it. Let's ease back a little and let it take its course.” His eyes closed and he nodded off.
I readjusted his pillows under his arms and legs and studied this long, emaciated figure through the moonlight that filtered in through the blinds in stripes of golden light. I watched his mouth move as he continued conversations that had been going on for decades. I sat in my chair and waited. I awoke to the sound of muffled artillery coming from the bed.
“Son, I covered for you while you were out, but, this is no game here. You've got to keep with it, no matter how hard it gets.”
“I understand,” I said. “Sorry about that.” I picked up my remote, pointed it around the room and began shooting again.
“That's more like it,” Rudy said. “Don't ever let them think they've got the upper hand. I know. I've seen many a comrade go down because he wasn't alert. We've got to watch each other's back.”
“I promise you, Rudy. I'll always have your back,” I said. A tear slid down my face.
“What's your name again, son?” Rudy asked.
“Mark,” I said. My name was Mary.
“Well, Mark,” Rudy's eyes were luminous in his sunken face. “It's all about trust here. We have to know exactly who we're sitting with before the fireworks start bombarding.”
I agreed as I dripped some more water, drop by drop, down his throat. I slipped a sublingual 5mg morphine tablet under his barren tongue.
“I trust you, Mark. You have what it takes.” Rudy's eyelids started shuddering closed. “I'm just going to get some shut-eye. It's going to be a long, damn night, son. Keep a look-out for me, will you little buddy?”
I nodded my head, but Rudy was already far, far away. I put some lip balm over his cracked lips. His face was cold and hard as marble. Rudy's angular features shuddered and twitched in the darkness. I settled back in my chair and waited for the next ambush.
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"The Trench" was published in Front Porch Review, Oct. 2011
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Wow! How intense and poignant is this? Totally blindsided as I entered the story expecting a literal trench and ended up in a dying man's fever dream. Gripping and sad and very very human.*
it's a beauty.
You took me to a room as I watched my father dying, Meg. I remember putting the chapstick on his poor, parched lips and brushing the damp strands of hair back from his forehead. One day, I was his brother Tom, just home from Korea. Fine writing. Sad writing.*
Michael, Thank you so much for reading and commenting! I so appreciate it!
Thank you so much, James!!!
Dear Joani,
Thank you for your intimate comments. It's heartbreaking to watch someone you love go through it!!! Big hugs to you!! xo
Gorgeous, the balance between peppered dialogue and detailed narrative. Then emotions were very intense, also. Loved this, Meg!
Fave.
Goodness - What a piece. Well written, Meg. Very real. "I watched his mouth move as he continued conversations that had been going on for decades. I sat in my chair and waited."
Yes. *
Thank you so much, amazing Robert! I always love your comments!
Thank you so much, Sam!!! I so appreciate your reading and commenting!! You're the best!
fav. You made this real.
I, too, have seen those shuddering eyelids. A great story from a hard place.
Meg it's the whimsical quality of the piece that sets this apart from other stories about death and dying. Wonderful work here!
*
Excellent story. This choked me up: "“Mark,” I said. My name was Mary." *
Very powerful, Meg.
Thank you so much, David James, for your comment!!! So appreciate it!
Thank you so much, Lucille!!
So glad you got that out of this, Susan!! Love your comments!
Thank you so much, Beate! So appreciate your comments!
Thank you so much, Gary!! I'm so glad you liked it!
Agree with everyone above. Masterly and powerful. Wow, Meg!
*
Thank you so much, amazing Bill!! I so appreciate your reading and commenting!!!
Love this story, Meg. :)
* fave city *
Thank you so much, Dennis!! I so appreciate your reading and commenting!! Cheers!
so real and so powerfully sad.
Thank you so much, Estelle, for reading and commenting!!
Beautiful piece. Hard for me to read, too close, but you paint this picture with truth and hope. Peace *
Thank you so much, amazing Linda! I know it's close and I am sending you big hugs!! I so appreciate your reading and commenting!
Nicely done Meg. I hope you're working on novels too. The opening descriptions of the Trench are subtle yet vivid and pulled me right into the story, and they gave me the feel of an opening chapter of a novel, a nice fast paced one. We need more of those, don't we?
Thank you so much, Mark!! I'm working on a novel, but that's not a part of it. But I like your idea!
I so appreciate your reading and commenting! And love that photo of you jumping in the air!
I especially like how, in Vonnegut-fashion, you give the story away in the first lines so that I could focus on the observations and on the strange scene. Great closing.
Thank you so much, amazing Marcus!! Your comments are very much appreciated!! Hope you're doing well!!!
A fine read, Meg! While the story is a bit different, made me think of Springsteen's "Devil's Arcade."
Thank you so much, Michael!!! Will have to check out Springsteen's "Devil's Arcade." Very cool!!
Really fine stuff, Meg...
Thank you so much for reading and commenting, Terri!!!
Original and very effective approach to a difficult subject.*
' . . . I dripped some more water, drop by drop, down his throat. I slipped a sublingual 5mg morphine tablet under his barren tongue . . . "
Thank you so much for reading and commenting, J. Mykell!!! Much appreciated!