Oddities
by Jake Barnes
One day my wife got so mad at me she raked her fingernails down my face. I had to hold her down on the bed. That night we went to our friends' house for dinner. "What happened to you?" Carlos asked. I said I cut myself shaving.
We ate at the Greek restaurant again the next day. There were too many people in a small space. We pretended to be deep in conversation. I couldn't hear her; she couldn't hear me. Nobody could hear us. We held hands and whispered the most awful things.
One night we sat in the lounge of a hotel in Billings, Montana, listening to a country western singer with a harelip. He had a reedy voice, but he could carry a tune, and he seemed to know the lyrics to every country song there ever was.
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Author's Note
I'm never inspired to write. I just write. I can't help it.
Perfectly conveyed.*
I love "We held hands and whispered the most awful things."
Very well done.
"I couldn't hear her; she couldn't hear me. Nobody could hear us. We held hands and whispered the most awful things."
There's your poem.
Quirky, raw subterfuge. The three pieces play well off each other.
I like especially the Greek restaurant.
Can't beat a country-western singer with a harelip.*
Yeah Jake. Good.
"We held hands and whispered the most awful things."
That makes me think of a Richard Thompson song I listened to yesterday. I'd actually paid attention to the words. From Razor Dance:
"After the death of a thousand kisses
Comes the catacomb of tongues
Who can spit the meanest venom
From the poison of their lungs"
Not a slack moment or slack word.
*
"One night we sat in the lounge of a hotel in Billings, Montana, listening to a country western singer with a harelip. He had a reedy voice, but he could carry a tune, and he seemed to know the lyrics to every country song there ever was."
Nothing wasted in this piece, Jake. Solid writing. *
love *
I love this writing, Jake. Especially the second. *
Nothing wasted. *
I like the Greek restaurant best, but that doesn't mean I don't like all three.
enjoyed a lot. plus, I'm from Billings, so I love a good shoutout.
I do like this, very much. Spare, yet so dense with meaning and contradiction. The complexity of life in these snapshot moments. Wonderful... *
"I couldn't hear her; she couldn't hear me. Nobody could hear us."
Speaks volumes.
Yes, everything about that second vignette is perfect.
Magnificent.