Summertime
by Jake Barnes
“Mescaline occurs naturally in our bodies, you know,” I said.
Harpo didn't smile. He didn't even reply. He took a swallow of beer, threw the empty bottle into the back yard. We were sitting on the ramshackle porch of our second story rental. The porch sagged; the building had seen better days.
Harpo picked up the slingshot, loaded it with a marble, aimed, and sent the missile in a slow arc from left to right, hitting the bottle as square as you please and sending broken glass far and wide.
We had been drinking Grain Belt Premium all morning.
Harpo looked at me and grinned. “I know,” he said.
I looked off into the middle distance and saw a million white dandelion parachutes floating softly in a pale blue sky.
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Author's Note
Show, tell, hide.
Great! Keep telling!!!
like the heat and laziness.
Nice dandelion image. *
Good piece in a small space. I like.
love those dandelions and harpo's marksmanship
So much in so few words.
I like it that they're drinking in the morning, talking about mescaline in the brain, on a sagging porch, shooting stones at dandelions.*
Yes.*
Drinking Grain Belt Premium all morning can get you into a whole bunch of trouble. A lonely setting sets a "certain ambiance" for characters and action. A winner! *
Wow on the many facets of summertime. I can see your two characters staying till the fireflies come out, too. *
jake, you set such a mood here. I love the writing between the two lines of dialogue. Skillful. *
nice work all of it. love the last line most. *
That's less than a damn tweet and you said so much...took me to a spot next to them on that porch.
Thank you.
Yes!* wonderful visuals... Mescaline like dmt occurs naturally? Fav
Great shit! I'm right there! I'd like some more, please! *
Must have been sleeping when you posted this. Love it.*
Man this sounds like a day out of my yute. We only drank Corn Belt (as we called it) if a cheap farmer bought it for a bailing crew. Over in my part of the Midwest, it was Old Style and for a splurge Special Export. The rest rings VERY true as well. Nice piece.
Isn't ramshackle such a great word? *
Thanks, too, to Steve Gowin for the beer particulars. Grain Belt made it for me just before the dandelion dander flew. Like it a lot. *
Absolutely perfect opening line.
Jake, what an ending on "Summetime"--that startle.
And I appreciate you continuing to read my work and make comments.
I love how your details convey so much -- I can just envisage this scene.
This is just wonderful. Maybe keep just the last Harpo. That way, it's such a surprise.