by Tina Barry
1.
My mother insists my bedroom was pink, but I recall the pale gray wallpaper printed with delicate ballerinas. I think I'm correct in my recollection; when I'm daydreaming I see my small finger tracing the outline of a dancer. One autumn, a neighbor removed the hanging seats from his daughter's swing set and trussed a deer he had shot to the top bar. I could smell it as I lay in bed.
2.
We abandoned the little ranch house for a charmless split-level in a new development. Divided into two tiers of clunky rooms, the foyer sported a marble floor and, whenever it rained the basement filled with water. My bedroom was painted lavender and I loved the furniture: a desk and bed edged in gold, its canopy draped with pink ruffles. I'd arrange toys atop the fabric, and when the lights were out, look up at the sky I'd fashioned: dark blobs of stuffed bears and tigers, the rectangular shapes of sanitary napkins, swiped from my mother's bathroom. Perfect mattresses for Barbie and Ken.
3.
After my father moved in with his girlfriend, my mother sold the split-level and rented a two-bedroom in an apartment complex rife with divorced mothers and the under-employed. I shared a small, dirty-white room with my sister. One closet held our clothes. At night, feral cats in the bushes wailed like the witches in Macbeth. I once opened the window and shouted, “Shut up!” They stopped humping and gnawing on birds to stare, eyes yellow-green in the streetlights.
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This prose piece is included in the "Sleep, Beds, Bedrooms" issue #67 at Right Hand Pointing. Thanks again to the editors for supporting my work.
Each bedroom is eloquent. Really enjoyed the release of the "shut up!"
Thank you, Carol!
excellent!*
Thanks James. So glad you like "3 Bedrooms..."
Oppressively sad. That the narrator is telling it and has the power of memory is uplifting. The cats at the end are searing. *
Thanks for reading and commenting on "3 Bedrooms," Ann, and thanks for the star.
I like this narrative by way of architecture/interior decorating.
The details seem true to a child's perspective.
Really great writing here. I like the way the opening sets up the unsure memory, and then we go on to hear such detail. That's nicely done. I esp like the deer detail in #1, balanced with the cat detail in #3.
It's as much about memory and recollection as the bedrooms themselves, of course. You do that very well here.
Big *
The personal history of houses. Very effective, Tina.
Thanks so much Guy, Michelle and Gary, for the thoughtful comments and the stars!
Love these, particularly the language and mood you create with #3. Yes, very effective. *
Thank you for reading and commenting, Christian, and thanks for the star!
I love every house, every room, and those rough and excellent last lines. This is like a diorama of the N's life. Damn. *
Very kind of you, Pia. Thanks for the star!
A novel's worth of short story. A+ and * of course.
Thanks for reading "3 Bedrooms...", Jake. I appreciate the kind words, and the star!
Three terrific flash fictions with wonderful glinting metaphors.*
Thank you, Daniel. I'm flattered.
"My mother insists my bedroom was pink"--such a great beginning, but the clashing tenses put me off.
The rest is rife with delicious detail.
Enjoyed.
*
Thanks Bill! I don't know any other way to mention something remembered but discussed in the present than the way I did it.
I thoroughly love this.
Brilliant work Tina! I love all three sections of this amazing piece. Congratulations on RHP publication also!
Fave.
Excellent!
Each of these creates a crystalline image that stands alone, but when read as a whole you have given us a complete story.*
Thanks so much Robert, Christopher and Gary for the kind words and stars! You're the best.
I love this, Tina. So much story injected into the precise details that drive the piece. I can't believe how much you worked into such a tight little space. Big fav
Thanks for taking the time to read "3 Bedrooms," Jen. I'm so pleased you like it. Thanks, too, for the star.
The overall movement of these is fascinating. So tightly drawn together in nearly every fictive respect. I greatly admire this. Terrific.