1285 4 4
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I heard the patron yelling,
“Hey, man! That’s my cappuccino!”
when the young female snatched it and got away.
But the police cornered her a few blocks away,
licking the last bits of foam off her wiley whiskers.
That’s how they knew they had
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128552
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This year, instead of giving roses or candy for Valentine's Day, why not give something your spouse will never forget.
A brand new divorce!
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128500
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When New Guinea's president was a student at UCLA he received an A- in organic chemistry after watching a Joan Rivers Informercial. Each year he tries to re-create the magic of that moment.
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128542
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A Massachusetts nursing home that doesn’t believe in antipsychotic drugs uses a llama named Travis to calm patients.
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128585
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I was so high on the not knowing, I thought, you will love me for my confusion. And so I allowed myself to reach further inward than either of us felt comfortable. I imagined a delicious vanilla pudding at the core of my exploration, sweet and satisfying enough for me to…
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128432
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driving and standing in front of the same car
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128497
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there was no mess she couldn’t manage, / no chaos she couldn’t tame.
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1284158
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I haven't felt my soul leave my body
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12841310
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I realize that to say, "I do not believe in God" is footsteps away from "I do not rely on God" and "God left me."
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128422
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* — Eligibility conditions apply, no purchase necessary.
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128400
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I was in a bar waiting for a friend when two ugly women sat next beside me. When our eyes met, they gave me a smile. I smiled back out of courtesy. I wasn't in the mood to have a conversation not because they're unattractive, but my friend was horribly…
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128444
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Then there is Ethelbert's husband whom Ethelbert hasn't met yet, and who has literally weighed in, as if fed up and tired of waiting for a long, in full length, needless, wake up story. That is when Ethelbert asks, "Amy who?" related to a different group
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128463
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128444
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...her facial twitches, gasps and whines, her moments of trapped silence.
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1284147
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The fuckers tumble out of the bathroom like clowns from a tiny car. The girl has these huge tits and dark red hair. She rushes past me, smelling like chocolate. A guy's behind her, holding onto the back of her jeans. He's not good looking enough to…
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128442
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"Aren't you free to say whatever you please?"
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128400
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One fine afternoon a few months after her husband's death, Susan awoke in the porcelain tub of her gigantic, empty house with: two champagne bottles, one only half-empty; a Xanax bottle, completely empty; and a loaded gun, which was most startling
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128410
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He trudged up the steep, antique, spiral staircase to his study. Many hours had been spent in the sanctuary of this room, studying, praying, sleeping; however, now his intentions were much different.
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128421
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Over the last 30 days we have seen a radical decrease in our revenue stream. Our Q3 earnings fell dramatically short of what we had projected, and as a result the leadership team has had to look at some difficult cost-reducing measures.
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128421
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I have to find a way To evolve To become To grow into something else To become something else I have to find a way To let go Loosen my firm grasp Watch it all fall away Let myself fall away Drop this act This weight This mess of a life This mess I…
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128300
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He will spread peace like wet blood on a sheet.
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128320
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Keep it quick (and they usually did) and it was simple.
Quick as the walk between their houses, from number 27 to number 33 (odd numbers only), and simple as the alibi.
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128354
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We’ll just choke on all our shit
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128311
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Suddenly she feels the urge to go, the TV lounge, with its flat Ikea furniture and black sofas where two young men glowering sprawl, is unknown territory. She can imagine those eyes, mouths, hands all over her. One of them looks up and there is an unspoke
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128321
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By the time I got back to the island only Henson was still alive. He didn’t speak; the gun said it all.
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128321
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We all heard the audible skill you had, speaking smoothly of our lives, saying audibly what has driven us, who are huge with night, rising with its origin inside, and clear water running past, beyond, behind, and after us.
To honor, to fear utteranc
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128300
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"I don't hear anything..." whispered Hannah. We had just reached the hatch at the top of the maintenance chute.
"Open it quietly, take a look around and if it's clear we climb out as silently as possible, OK go." Responded Pedro. His caution betraying h
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128343
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I saw you hold her as if you were copy writing a ball of yarn
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128300
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The bedroom was still as our conversation dissolved into a heavy silence broken only by the ticking of the clock on her night table and the occasional sob that hadn't yet been swallowed in her pillow. I stubbed out my cigarette and leaned forward in…
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128355
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Sundays I drive her to the cemetery to visit her husband of fifty years. I've had her for two, and when I tell her I love her as much as he did, she laughs. I have to hold her elbow and help her over the bumpy grass. Today it's raining and we brought just one umbrella, so…
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