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When New Guinea's president was a student at UCLA he received an A- in organic chemistry after watching a Joan Rivers Informercial. Each year he tries to re-create the magic of that moment.
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1307102
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...cinched the handcuffs.
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Every year I make New Year's resolutions and every year I break them. So this year, I'm trying something different -- resolutions for other people. Hey world -- here are the changes I'd like to see YOU make in 2014(1) Cell phone owners: No more blathering on your cell in…
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130700
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It was an unseasonably warm day in early spring when I first saw the man in the treehouse. The boys had just climbed onto the school bus, the older with shoulders hunched, weighted down with the gross unfairness of his early adolescent life, the younger still scribbling…
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He can’t enlarge the rock—/
can only find its safest distance
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Up to the loft we went, shedding clothes all the way. No one is home, but the place smells like the fresh cookies my mom had made before she left. It's dark and my lips hit his…
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A Massachusetts nursing home that doesn’t believe in antipsychotic drugs uses a llama named Travis to calm patients.
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It's not actually about blow jobs, sex, or coitus of any kind. You probably won't like it.
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Breaking News: Noted local writer and very minor celebrity Paul Steven Stone joined a growing list of talentless wannabes to bare skin and a hint of nipple in a shameless attempt to draw attention to his current blog posting. When asked how far he would g
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You had autumn in your hair
I liked the way you sat at a table
And drank champagne
My past years have carried me
To sixteen countries
Christ, we have so much to share
Listen, I know how the other half lives
And we can’t live like that an
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It is imperfect,/
eroded by the optics//
of light, space/
and orbital mechanics.
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Lucy entered the open door next; she had been inside the cat litter house before: Brother Fran didn’t bother to cover turds he’d laid. He spoke of the outdoors: lizards he’d separated from their heads, world of work.
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130600
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The toilet paper had been the least of the issue. It was just something else for her to yell about. See, what she was really upset about was the bank account. The bank account had been his, then theirs, and now it was his again.
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She excelled at plowing forward. He excelled at staying in one place. Eventually the distances got too great and she put an ocean between them.
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Minimalist/realist short-story writer Raymond Carver was fired from his job as an editor of science textbooks because of his inappropriate writing style.
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Once I get through this I'm going to start: daily yoga stretches; walking the dog all the way to the waterfall every morning; tossing out, unread, Saturday's ads so I don't think about going into Walmart to buy Stack-A-Shelves (assembly required). Hey, even…
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130600
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One fine afternoon a few months after her husband's death, Susan awoke in the porcelain tub of her gigantic, empty house with: two champagne bottles, one only half-empty; a Xanax bottle, completely empty; and a loaded gun, which was most startling
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There was nothing on the lake but a / faint sailboat and a shadowy gull.
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The other night / I dreamt I was an astronaut
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Many men ran about, some retreating fully and others digging in along side of me. Some of them without a shirt or helmet, but all with blood shot eyes. My brothers and I dug in hard and set our sights on our enemies.
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She really was a beautiful skankFeral coated and dusted with sugarAn inked up divining rodTelling us on earth what God thinks
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130500
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...I made the mistake, thinking the point of a maze was to go in one side and out the other.
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it is said to make your manliness last forever
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Ben left the airport and headed toward downtown Nice, his stomach was in a knot.
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“Eat up, little brother” Jack called out from his end of the table. “The food will make your blood dance. It will be eager to mix with Helen’s.”
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After it is over, I go out into the world, to the café. The flower sellers are setting up their booth outside the glass doors. Classical guitar over the speakers. A soft rain falling. Heads bowed, reading the news. Coffee, croissants, cappuccino. This g
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The end, she thought, when did we end? She knew it had to end. Ten months in and it was no different from the day they met. Then again, the day they met it seemed as if they’d known each other ten years. That was the nature of their relationship she
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"I don't hear anything..." whispered Hannah. We had just reached the hatch at the top of the maintenance chute.
"Open it quietly, take a look around and if it's clear we climb out as silently as possible, OK go." Responded Pedro. His caution betraying h
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. . . I just didn’t think to call the mortician from the phone outside the grocer’s store, how gauche that would have sounded to any passers-by, a call to a mortuary from outside a grocer’s store!
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I strolled mindlessly along the concrete pavement, the cool breeze carrying the characteristic scent of the night. I stared at the path ahead, but not really looking. My legs continued their automated operations. I didn't know where I was going, but that was all right - I…
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