All you need is a friend

by Sushmita Narayana

God wanted to commit the crime that he had been mercilessly punishing every one for a long time. He felt miserable enough to burn in Hell's kitchens. He kept genuinely wishing he had chosen one of the kitchens from the East. They were less scary and if one was lucky enough, there was a chance of getting tossed back, although, without a physical form. The stay there wasn't too bad either. There was the possibility of being stewed with popular cricket stars set to peppy Bollywood numbers in the background. In fact, some of His advisors had even recommended adopting a similar model for the Divine Spa. But, since everything happens in Amreeka, including Judgement Day, God signed up for the Purgatory in New York City.

The reasons for His foul mood and drastic decisions lay in the fact that His time was up. There were talks of Hades making a hostile acquisition of the Western Bloc. Rumours of God's men making a beeline to the induction party, down under, were getting stronger by the day, while support for the 2012 “Beginning of the End” celebrations had reached enormous proportions. They even had a theme song.

On the other hand, the promise of immortality beyond the Golden Gates had no takers. All of a sudden, Paradise didn't seem like a very happening place. Failure of an enterprise can lead the CEO into chronic depression. And He was in an abyss filled with it. He truly wanted to repent for all that had happened.  One could even say that He was bored - with Earth, the universe and with the occasional time-travellers who kept screaming “42” whenever they zoomed past his office window.

So, before he could brew with the crew, God decided to make one last trip to Earth, drawn by nostalgia and the prospect of watching a football World Cup from the stands. That is where He met Mini.

Mini had just flunked her school exams because of reasons she could not explain to her parents. So, while Mini sat on her bench and ate an ice-cream, He went delirious over the sound of a thousand Vuvuzelas.  But then, Mini was also crying over her marks so they got chatting over topics like peer pressure and the futility of life. Deciding to make someone happy, God gave Mini a copy of all his powers with a shelf life of 15 seconds.

Thus, Mini saw what it was like to be Him. Needless to say, she was overwhelmed by the sorrow and greed that presented itself to her; she also watched her dog die in a car accident. The darkness of it all saddened Mini but when she returned to the bench she wasn't as rattled as one would expect her to be. In fact, she looked dangerously calm for a ten-year old.

Puzzled, God asked Mini to explain what had happened and if she had done something. Mini whispered a story in His ears that almost got drowned out by the noise from the crowd. The very next moment, He was back at office with a spring in His step and tune on His lips.

And that is how Mini prevented God from committing suicide.