I could feel myself slipping back into my old ways again and it always hurt like hell.

My work is not that sexy and glamorous kind of time travel that you see in the movies with Deloreans and phone booths.

I caught her a-feasting with her eyes and smilin' at that Jesus- haired Waffle House cook, Dennis Roy, again and I said, “Merlene, my tiny kitty-kat, they's no reason to carry no torch for him ‘cause he may not be with us very long ‘cause, if you notice, they's no…

Now, this boy removed his socks in front of me, on the chair beside my desk where I read my books, and said: “My toenails aren’t shaped properly.”

There is a whisper in the shadows

We didn't know him from Adam...

She also castrated her cat. All by herself...with her Swiss Army Knife. And not with the blade either.

My wife says you can tell the crooks from the cops from the cowboys at the taco truck across the street.

The stick had a head and a face and a swirling robe, all etched in wood. It was the 14th Dalai Lama.

Everybody knew the McDonald’s at the Waterfront was selling theraflu stamp bags, and I guess I’d heard how bad it was for you—they’d had reports of dumbasses ODing on channel 2, 4, and 11—but it was a lot stronger than regular heroin and a lot cheaper...

You may be wondering, as is only natural, about the designated husband of our dear Princess.

I think the Air Force Colonel must have known, from the flushed looks on our faces, that I had just fucked his daughter in a roadside patch of ragweed on the way to their house somewhere outside Danville. I remember looking back and forth between him and

Josh was having a hard enough time getting through his final year of studies without having his sister point out his fledgling love life to his parents.

We played synthetic derivative punk. We used Donald Trump tweets as lyrics.

Alcohol and American writers have always had a connection–about 70 percent of American winners of the Nobel Prize for Literature could be considered heavy drinkers if not more.