by Marda Miller
we ultimately decide what is best for us. even if its not.
My inner grammarian wants you to edit out the word "of."
Your last line rocks.
Especially connect with the second half -
she got too close
next time, she'd wear the armour."
thank you everyone! greatly appreciated.
Gita, thank you for the tip. I re-read it and concluded that your advice made it much stronger :)
*Smooth and sharp.
Wonderful! For me, you don't even need the last line.
I agree with Bill. I think you should cut the last line but use it as the title, that would be perfect.
I agree with Bill and SDR. Then it will be a gem. *
Thank you Nonnie, Bill, SDR and Daniel! Much appreciated.
Interesting thought to use it as the title ...
I'm attached to it, however :)