by Marda Miller
I traveled back in time today. The songs and pictures made it effortless.
“My God, you are stunning” he said to me, as he drove me home that first night. Mr. Brightside was playing on the radio when he kissed me. I bought that album the next day.
We wore cowboy hats and jeans in the pictures. They both came off once his camera disappeared. Eventually, he made me want to disappear and I tried very hard to do just that.
The songs got better. I bought my own camera and became the one who took the pictures. I took one of you while you were sleeping, but you don't know that I did. I saved it and titled it “Dream” because that is what I do with you; I dream of all the things you are not.
Within moments of glancing into mine, his piercing brown eyes found the weakest parts of me. All it took was ‘that' look and my mind raced around his existence. He wouldn't call for days. There was nothing I could do so I imagined terrible things. That is when my thinking broke.
I have an iPod now and it has 1607 songs. You stopped calling so I started staring at your picture. Now your brown eyes stab me all day long.
Sometimes, time traveling is dangerous.
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A song inspired this.
And pictures of cowboys.
This story has no tags.
Oh. This pierces me.
I read this and understand the things we universally do as women (well, some of us). I literally HATE the emotion and over thinking that is WOMAN and you spell it out for us so well here, Marda. *
p.s. I listened to Mr. Brightside just today.
I do it all the time Harley; I am cursed with over thinking.
Oh and Mr. Brightside is still one of my favorite songs :)
TY!
good stuff! dig the amount of time you squeezed in there -- how you managed to capture this whole timeline in a couple of nice bites. mmm. bet its a fun one to read out loud.
Thank you Mike!
I have not read it out loud, but will now to test your theory...
It may be a 'woman's' poem. I don't know, but it touches a chord that resonates in every heart the same, I think.
James, you are absolutely correct; it would have been just as effective had I written it from a man's perspective. The heart knows nothing of gender. It just records emotions that we feel.
A well-written piece. Good form here.
Bittersweet and well done Marda. Enjoyed the read.
Very nicely heartbreaking, bittersweet, and I really like the circularity of it.
Thank you Sam, Michael and Cherise.
:)
Good piece.
Favorite line: "That is when my thinking broke."
"The Heart Knows Nothing of Gender"
This would make a good title!
Thank you Bill -
I love that line as well.
Perhaps I should use that title then ... I think it would also make a good story.
Marda,
This is wonderful! A subtle complexity in the prose and also even the way you composed the stucture. And I agree, a story's worth is here. Continue! And use that title Bill suggests! I love exploration of gender- lines, blurry, succinct, etc. So much material here! *
Robert, your comments put a huge smile on my face :)
Thank you so much!
I have actually been thinking about Bills suggestion; it has produced many interesting thoughts that I am excited to start working on...
Marda,
Beautifully conveyed how she replays those tunes of the past over and over and my favorite line here: "That is when my thinking broke." Powerful line! Sad and you made me feel her!!! Nice work!
There is a complex weaving done here that I greatly admire, esp since I am incapable of doing that, and so I'm jealous..
beautiful inner life that explodes but very quietly on the page.
*
Meg, thank you so much! I have been exploring a theme of similarity so this piece was inspired from that.
Susan, you just made me speechless...
Had been perusing through your 'back catalogue' Marda and have to say this is very powerful. An excellent piece.