Most read stories

What Some Boys Do

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I squeeze the soft bag tighter between my legs.

Furniture Fights

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It amazes me that with everything this woman has to be depressed about, what really gets her down is an inadequate lounge chair.

Diversion

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A landscape has the tendency to take on new dimensions when night comes.

The Home

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They take her cookies they take her Coke they take her Kleenex the whole box not the used ones They take, they steal everything They’d take the brain out of an ox if they could Diamonds they steal bars of soap as long as they

Here's Looking at Euclid

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Hoboken memories

First Sex

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After our date, my sister, who has a boyfriend, came over with her Weimaraner. I started instantly to tell her of my sex with Nils. She shirked the conversation, tried to change the subject, and more than once, I persisted. I wanted her to hear about it.

Let x

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Let x equal the moment just after he tells her he's starting a club for people who know something about computers.It is summer, 1984, and this is their grade school playground. She is idling on a swing over a patch of scuffed earth. He stands just off to the side, one…

Two Dimensional Beings

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Now, both the feline and the infant have abstractly different levels of cognitive function. But, they both share one thing in common. Neither of them have trained eyes. Sometimes, both the cat and the baby will track the same invisible object across the r

MY Last Lecture: Achieving MY Childhood Dreams

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The following is an excerpt of my commencement speech at The Hamlin Refrigeration Vocational Institute. Although I am NOT terminally ill, in all honesty, I haven’t been feeling all that great since, I would say, around April…

If I Kiss That Girl

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Because she is waiting, seated on my hotel bed, making comments about my sonic white toothbrush being a vibrator, telling me she's bi, gorgeous with her poly-amorous discussion and long brown curling hair, with her fawn-like face and delicate breasts, wit

We Get All Kinds Here

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A toothy grin greets me at my Public Storage counter. He visits every week. Peering through the wire first, he opens his cage door, gaze lingering. Finally he departs. Nothing ever placed or removed. Emptiness, that looming…

Our Costume Is a Kiss

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I'm waiting in line for the only bathroom in this bar while my mother is dying somewhere. I don't know where. I have to piss really bad. An obese Cinderella is in front of me and a zombie with ample…

A Horse Walks into a Bar

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I got this job where I sell snow cones from a cart in a petting zoo. Parents ask if their children can take pictures with me. I neigh and nod my big horse head. After my shifts, I go into the bar, still in my getup, as this horse, and the bartender says,

Don't Rub Me Out Now

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Don’t rub me out now, not tonight. Or if you do, do it right.

White Bread

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Brian takes off his size eleven shoe and shakes it out on the table.

The Wolf Who Cried Boy

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The story begins ... There were no pigs' huts of straw or stick or stone.

The Locker Room

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"Buzz off," Jeff said. "You don't even know what a lesbian is."

Minerva Gets Pierced by Love

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Minerva one night had a change of plans, for Mr. Wright knocked on her door in the form of a potbellied perv with a Vaseline mustache.

How To Make Your Own Falling Star, or Dreamland Begins at Sunset, So Be a Dear and Pass It On, Will Ya?

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The world moves its roving glass eye around in front of you like a dog trying to flip over a frisbee, as if trying to show you how the loveliness of all things here and yet there, from an anything goes, different, always shifting,…

The Explosions Sound Like Gunshots

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The explosions sound like gunshots. Antonio Gattorno, absorbed in his work, flinches. He curses as he smears the brush across the canvas. He’s been painting since mid-morning. It‘s a hot summer day. Tomorrow is the fourth of July.

I’m Waiting

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All carcinoma/ would be hors d’oeuvres/ for its dark appetite.

Lake Chelan

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Amish-like, between the sheets.

The Color of Silence is Radium Green

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...the teeth she began to lose went under her pillow, though no money ever appeared. She could not bear to throw them away and finally deposited them in her jewelry box next to the string of seed pearls she received on the morning of her confirmation.

Peach

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He wanted to walk in, take off his scrubs, and not have to look at pictures of peaches.

Good Evening Ladies and Gentlemen

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My name is Mandy and I'll be your narrator today. I'd like to welcome you aboard. You will be reading at the approximate speed of one hundred words per minute. Total estimated reading time will be about fifteen minutes. At this time, I'd like to point out several of the…

Another Version of My Life, in Which I am Played by Meryl Streep

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Rerunning, now it's published.

Letter to a Distant Friend

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My life is life in shape alone./ The substance leaks away like blood/ removed by the embalmer’s art.

Lady GaGa Fucked Me Accidentally

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She stroked the piano softly with one hand and I shivered. Maybe it was the keys singing or the way her eyes were closed forcing her to feel her way to right spot or the sex in her voice. Maybe it was just in my head.

under the skin

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Every few days, on one of our walks, the dog and I go down to a shallow, quick river...

~velotrix~

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~our silly cosmology of visceral pleasure~