This Story is Terrible, and I Only Wrote It to Annoy You People
by Smiley McGrouchpants, Jr-Esq-III
"Did you hear? Bobby Zealand, David Orleans, and Michael Mexico were in a terrible accident. They got hit by a bus!"
"I knew Zealand, and I knew Orleans, and I knew Mexico! Was Robert England there?"
"I didn't know you knew England!"
"Well, I knew Hampshire . . . and I knew York . . . but that's not really—"
THE END
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Author's Note
This is based, in part, on a bit from an episode of "The Simpsons" that, for whatever reason, really stuck in my craw:
Homer's walking by a U.S. map, which he glances at, and says (pointing): "Ooh! Look! There's a NEW Mexico!"
(God bless us Americans ... y'know?)
Other stories by Smiley McGrouchpants, Jr-Esq-III
Tags
alright as avoid bother but doing dont dont-get-so-testy fair-enough five-hundred-dollars guess i i-know-my-rights i-should-leave-you-alone i-think is is-this-thing-on just-thought-id-ask maybe-i-dont me not okay on or or-maybe quote sheesh shit something spare-a-cigarette stupid stupid-doesnt take-me-in that though to wait-a-minute what you-dont-know-me you-dont-want-to
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Shit. I opened it early. I am really bad with directions. Sorry. I hope it's not ruined.
I opened it, too. Jeez. Nobody follows instructions 'round 'ere.
I wonder who the 20 other people are that didn't fess up? (I admit at least two of the 24 are me. Maybe three. But one of them isn't saying.)
Couldn't be worse.
Psssssst, Gloria.
Have you read his other stuff?
Yeah, it could be.
Much worse.
Much.
Hey, Sally, what the—
Oh, that's a (sort of) "compliment," isn't it?
Yes. Yes it is.
(At least, I'm TAKING it that way ... )
Love how you arranged the tags; skillful indeed