1673 7 5
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The easiest and most legal way to pick up a woman is to take a single, writer friend with you to a bar. While there, look for the woman you are interested in. Her? Are you sure? Okay then. Next, tell your writer friend that the woman keeps looking at him when he's…
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167385
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Not believing enough in God he was made unfortunate. Neither cursed nor damned; merely little things. Missing rides, running out of toilet paper, showing up late. Until, suspecting someone he had overlooked, he chose a God. The wrong One it transpired. Things…
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167321
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Allie didn't share that moment with Jim. That moment he spoke about whenever they made new friends as a couple— that moment he planned to recount at their engagement party.
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167321
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Slipshod shoes were the first sign of a meltdown. Sometimes she could see it coming. A prickly gentleman washing his clothes on a Thursday afternoon. One week he’s fine. Nothing wrong with owning a sour face. The next Thursday, his shoes don’t match.
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167398
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Everybody called her The Crier because from time to time we would hear her crying.
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1673117
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Except with the language I was born to./
Occasionally, with painters and collagists-//
dead now, typically- who can’t voice/
opposition to my misappropriations.
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167311
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Later, your father stared, confused, at the empty spot where the wall paint layers ended in the shape of the old machines. He stopped coming in.
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16731910
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167361
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I do not know what zinzins is, what a zinzins is, who zinzins is.
I do not want to know
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167310
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Floating along the ebbs of the ocean,toward the horizon, where time has no say,an end that will never be reached.
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1673148
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167331
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I’m secretly hoping for a huge bouquet, a fruit basket, a pickle jar of urine in a lunch bag on my doorstep, even.
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167200
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“Devil’s Pass.” It had the highest rate of vehicle fatalities per year in the entire State of Colorado. Everyone in my state drove like a bunch of stupid rejects, so I asked the guy just how many? He replied,
“Four thousand for the entire state!...Nin
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167274
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Once again there's too much to handle and
no space to process
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1672127
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1672115
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I didn't believe in hiding secrets or broken arrows. So I told my new girlfriend, who in earnest, tried shedding pounds like ugly memories, who glued herself to my shag carpet, watching exerise videos--that I didn't sleep alone. I tried to be as sensitive as possible,…
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167232
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[THIS PROGRAM HAS BEEN EDITED FOR CONTENT, AND TO RUN IN THE TIME ALLOTTED.]
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167265
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Q: What's the best song to sing to your doc before cataract surgery?
A: I Only Have Eyes For You
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167163
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"Thanks for the wild sex--let me know if you have any problems with the lint trap."
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167191
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Naked, we stood in my shower. When she kicked my tool, I noticed she had a toe ring.
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167153
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Little mercy, ten fingers, ten toes.
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167110
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That night we went out to shoot some pool at the pool hall over on Durant Avenue, which was above a bar called Kip’s. Rotten Bobby walked in with his own damn pool cue, which came broken down in two pieces. He carried it in a narrow felt-lined carrying
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167120
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A shot in the dark and everything goes black. It's as if the story never happened.
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167110
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I laughed maniacally in my head at the thought, but I kept picking at it all the same, the bunnies had plans for us.
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167176
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“Now we lay you in your grave
There was no way you could be saved
You hate our lord Jesus and he can tell
Which is why you will burn in hell.”
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167142
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How hard it is to pretend to be someone else. Alone, together, in the silence... I thought about how you must really like me to act quite like that. I wanted to hold your hand and read the unsent love letters.
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167174
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The Judge waited for the perfect wave.
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167121
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The story itself is not much longer than a snippet. What is a snippet anyway?
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167111
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The room turns red and I start screaming and ejaculating. The whole class is watching as Mr.Smith slams down my copy of the test with his right hand and swiftly tears off my penis with his left.
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1671102
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And I don't know how long it will be until she comes outside and figures it all out.
Figures me out.
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