1784 1 1
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Normally I would have never drank such a wine, but it was late on a Friday evening and the bottle was on the house...
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178423
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But the boy next door is worse than a dweeb; he's a prima donna and a bully and a little shit to boot. The divorce will only make him more.
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178474
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You're on the Ferris wheel, and the wind is blowing just a little bit, and the sky is invisible behind a wash of white clouds, and your little yellow box tips when you look down, down to the fairway swinging. In the boxes below grandmothers are shrieking …
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178300
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You know what parents have to do to get an Xbox? They don't just stand in line and someone hands them an Xbox, OK? That's sacrifice. They have to sacrifice and sacrifice and sacrifice. I mean, I chase alpacas a mile every night in subfreezing conditions,
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178322
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We have a responsibility,” she says, “to enrich our local business community while delivering quality products to customers.” She had brought over some application forms for the Better Business Bureau, and we sit at the big table and fill them out, marki
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1783106
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are you like the rest of us and you disagree with war yes i said i disagree with war and he said only one man agrees with war but he won t go to the war
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178377
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My wife and I were looking for a "fixer-upper." We were strange that way. We were leaving a rental which had cat tunnels built into the walls. One villa we toured had a heartbeat. In the basement, in place of a well pump, was a heart made of fibrous roots which had…
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178366
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Oh, gracious mercy, oh...
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178396
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Gather 'round children, For it's high time to tell, The story of a strange man With a horrible, awful smell. For this is a story More disgusting than most. This is the gruesome tale Of Gary Von Gross. With a house made…
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1783128
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He said his wife levitated.
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178333
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Don’t worry about what went aloud. I said nothing.
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17831410
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When we take Vengeance,/
shave and shower him,/
deodorize and scent him,/
clothe him in a starched shirt
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178367
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When he took Medieval German Lit in graduate school, Ackermann read Der Ackermann aus Böhmen by Johannes von Tepl. His professor was amused both by his last name and that his grandparents were Germans from Bohemia. Of course, only his grandmother was from Bohemia and…
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178363
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Bootsy awoke with a hangover that only brain surgery could cure, a hangover that caused a seam to open in the known universe, leaving Bootsy on one side while all other matter sped away, away.
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178331
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I cannot find my way back to the bubbling navel of the universe because of Spongebob Squarepants.
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178332
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and i'm almost out of cigarettes,
and fireworks and sorority girls
scream
from down the street.
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1783103
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Often I eat lunch at the hospital. The cafeteria may be the best place to eat in town.
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178232
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He was drinking heavily again and complaining that there was nothing fresh worth writing about.
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1782127
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Val walks through the world, absorbed in the day to day. A plainspoken narrator drones on in his mind. The nondescript voice marks time to the beat of Val's banal footfall, hums along with the whir of Val's modest, midsize sedan. The narration is loudest in the twilight…
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178232
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He lit another reed - a new score orchestrating in his head - his thoughts swirling around the older man; there was something else going on here…
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17822111
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I am not the wind./
I am a stone eroded by the wind
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1782103
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When she was nineteen, she began to brew a baby in her belly. She named it, and sang to it, and organized the leftover hand-me-downs that hadn't been worn ragged through by the first seven sets of recipients.
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178221
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Ripper the dog died after eating a Quarter which had lodged in Ripper's throat choking her to death. Steve Latino buried her in the backyard the next morning. He felt nothing…
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178231
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My small kitchen has barely enough room to turn around in, yet I had the feeling I was being watched. When I experience it again, just seconds later, I realize it was eyes watching, actual eyes, not a camera or machine.
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178252
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I know what he meant.
I've been in the 3 A.M. cream cheese.
I've known the hole in the bagel.
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178232
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”My goodness how that child nurses hope,” Edward’s Grandad would often say, “were it not for her where indeed would this family be?”
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178210
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Priests didn’t just disappear, not without a reason, so there hadn’t been any doubt when Merrick was suddenly replaced. No one had said it, but they didn’t have to. And her boys, thank God—at least he’d done nothing to them.
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178200
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178284
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"This tastes like goat cheese," I said.
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178162
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We’re on our way out, my brother and me, to the graveyard.
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