Stories tagged humor

MUSE

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The bar was dark and a little dirty, and that suited Splinker's mood just fine.

Searching for Mr. Bharath Seshardi

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This tall, very blonde, very female, friend of mine. . . .

re·frac·tion

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bassackward/in the surreal/bathroom mirror

Not Sure If You're Actually Having Sex? I Can Help.

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When I stumbled upon evidence that the man I'd loved and trusted for 20 years had a secret girlfriend for the past 10 of those years, he tried to deny it.“We never had sex!” he told me. And I believed him. For about two minutes.“You never…

Water Test

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Dedicated to the memory of Leon Russell, who I’ve no doubt would’ve laffed his Carney ass off.

For my Good Boy who has no idea

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Good Boy, when you first came home you were named after a shitty beer and that just seemed strange,

Mein Penthouse

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new trumpian book. and ... Omarosa installed as Secretary of Trash Talk

About Those High Tension Wires In Our Backyard

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In all the years we lived here we never had any issues from the power towers behind our house, other than them being slightly unsightly. I didn't even notice them when we would socialize out back, especially when drinking. When it rains you can sometimes

Santa

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Santa’s ruddy snoze/

Praying in bed

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When I was a kid, I was terrified of dying in a bombing, which is strange, really, because I lived in Long Island, which has relatively few bombings to speak of.

Starstruck

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“No!” they cried

To my own two feet

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When I first arrived/footling-breeched/you two were there/ahead of me.

The Missing Part of the Middle Finger of My High School English Teacher

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I remember it was my sophomore High school English teacher Who managed to inspire me To start writing a little something And I remember also, oddly, That she was missing a part Of her middle finger on one hand Maybe she just couldn't

Hooters Altering Iconic Uniforms for More 'Family Friendly' Vibe at New Outlets

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Oh, no, they’re ruining Hooters With these new “family-friendly” Unskimpified uniforms in Asia I mean, it’s “Hooters” Isn’t it? What could be More family-friendly Than a pair of hooters By definition they are “Family Friendly” Geez,

Is This Seat Taken?

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A single woman should regard every train ride as an opportunity, I once read in one of those “How to Find A Boyfriend” books. “When boarding the train, don't take the first available seat,“ the author advised. “Walk through all the cars…