Stories tagged humor

Hot Dog Hot Dog

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A man on the sidewalk dressed as a hot dog hits a triangle dinner bell with a clang and yells for everyone to come and eat at Hot Dog Hot Dog. We were feeling more like fish and chips or spicy pulled pork, but there's something about how…

Wool & Spool

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“Two Days of Joy,” that is not a workshop at all but an invitation-only-BDSM-LGBT-furry friendly-little people-giants-welcome-NAMBLA tolerant-weekend-sexathon held in the tent of an abandoned circus.

Advice For Aspiring Writers

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Published writers will tell you that the most important thing you can do as a beginning writer is to know your markets! So this month, we'll talk about two of the markets open to you and your riveting but as yet unpublished prose -- Fling Magazine and Clubhouse…

Betrayal

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Betrayal of course is the great human crime. As I found out when . . . .

Bear Costume

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He ran over our elderly neighbor Lenard, but not on purpose, or at least not as far as we could tell; there wasn't any yelling, I mean, and he didn't look happy when he got out of the car, though who could really tell through a bear costume.

Welcome To Bedpan Alley! Honest Names For Nursing Homes

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A senior living facility called “Symphony Square ” recently opened up in my neighborhood. It doesn't have a symphony. Nor is it square. So what's with the name? I'm guessing that a consultant was paid big bucks to come up with that enticing moniker.…

Three-toed Sloth Love

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Couldn’t we just do a quick ie

It Seems You've Stumbled Upon My Bildungsroman

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Why yes I began writing this, my bildungsroman, Who is Mitsy Jackson, in spring, 1974 or thereabouts, and thank you so much for asking.

Quips of a Questionable Quality by an unnamed Lady of Substantial Assets

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Author's Note: I will assuredly persist in this pretentious literary endeavor-my first admittance of honest intentions-unless I am taken violently ill, a disapproving rodent chews through these pages, or I forget.

The Mate

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It sits there, watching, waiting, multiple cycles over.

My Emerald Skull

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Three men were waiting for a bus. The first man said -- his face come to life like a suddenly alive inanimation -- “If you worry that I am ill, good news for you. A wizard gave me a great gift. His name is Handsome, Handsome the Wizard, and he gave me

So You Want to Be a Poet

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You’re the girl that would sneak out to poetry readings instead of parties, watching fierce semi-bearded men reading their poems from hand-stapled zines.

Thirteen Ways of Looking at Blackbeard

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Across the placid sea/The only moving ship/ Was eyed by Blackbeard

Where Have You Gone, Honey Bear?

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When I wake up and look to my left, will you be there with me, snoring like an asthmatic bear?

Slippery Slope

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A man who is sexually attracted to playground equipment was recently banned from “any location with a slide” after being caught having sex with one. Christopher Johnson, 46, was described by the newspaper who reported this item as having a “powerful…