60 7 3
|
blood-sucker down the drain
|
91584
|
The title of the overdue book returned to a public library in San Francisco 100 years after it had been checked out? Forty Minutes Late.(Readers Digest, 04/17)In 1999, Kathy McKeon, Jackie Kennedy's former assistant, went to a Halloween party dressed in a Marge Simpson…
|
1078107
|
Hurried, hassling suit in front of me is being awful to the barista. So she refuses to serve him, turning away.
|
73041
|
People of Earth, a better tomorrow has come.
I’m near bursting with pleasure to report that the global community needn’t worry any longer about food shortages and famine and the like. Why? My patented insect-enlargement gun!
|
98765
|
We now live in post-Postmodern Absurdist fear of course, says our smiling Prof. That’s the price we pay he tells us. . . .
|
100
|
Oh, no, they’re ruining Hooters
With these new “family-friendly”
Unskimpified uniforms in Asia
I mean, it’s “Hooters”
Isn’t it? What could be
More family-friendly
Than hooters
By definition they are
“Family Friendly”
Geez, get a li
|
96954
|
You can tell your doctor the truth
Even if no one else will stop and listen
He or she may have a balm for it
To help make it go away
Or at least go into remission
Remission is the staging area for Lies
Corporate and otherwise
We don’t have
|
109799
|
People usually take fonts for granted.
|
9397
|
eight tiny ebony hooves barely touch the ground
|
2700
|
I end our relationship when he calls my favorite Chagall “trite.” Anyone who glues thread to canvas and calls it “string painting,” has no right to use that word.
|
5010
|
You can lead a horse to water
But you can't force him to bathe
Without a loofah
|
101588
|
Always in a hurry/to spoil your/weekend
|
87532
|
Boil (n.)––1. Pus-filled pustule inflammation of the skin, usually painful. 2. Slang boiled pus, bucket of (n. phrase)“Your asshole brain is a bucket of boiled pus.” (see also pus, SCOTTISH derogatory term for face.
|
93965
|
Santa’s stuck/you say? In the chimney of course./The lard-arsed ol’bastard struggling
|
300
|
1. Think up problems that don't exist
2. Realize, suddenly, that they don't exist
3. Elation
|
