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Boil


by Ed Higgins


Boil (n.)——1. Pus-filled pustule inflammation of the skin, usually painful. 2. Slang boiled pus, bucket of (n. phrase)“Your asshole brain is a bucket of boiled pus.” (see also pus, SCOTTISH derogatory term for face. “Your fucking pus is the South end of a pregnant sheep going North with a prolapsed haggis hanging out its arse, ya bawbag!” 3. Boil Cure­ (n.; tr.v.)“For Isaiah had said, Let them take a lump of figs, and lay [it] for a plaister upon the boil.” (Isaiah 38:21 KJV) 4. Slang  pot-bouille (n.) Fr. for large cooking pot. Also, Pot-Bouille, a novel by Emile Zola wherein Mme. Campardon suffers from a mysterious medical condition keeping her from having sex——possibly genital boils contracted from working in a nearby STEW. Related articles: STEW; DEVIL COVERED IN BOILS; JOB COVERED IN BOILS; BAWBAG; BOILING A LOBSTER ALIVE. 5. Boiling point (n.) “We all boil at different degrees,”--Emerson; (see syns at: SIMMER; SEETH; STEW-OVER). 6. To boil-in-a-cauldron (n. phrase) Ancient CELTS used a boiling wine or beer filled cauldron to drown their prior year's king. Ancient Greek LEGEND held boiling in a CAULDRON imparted immortality or restored youth. MEDEA hoodwinked King Pelias' daughters into restoring dad by dicing him up then boiling-in-a-cauldron. Thus Medea helped JASON's career along. See also: FALLING ASLEEP IN A HOT TUB; BOILING FROG MYTH; DYING IN A VAT OF BOILING CHOCOLATE. 7. Slang  Boil-your-bunny (v.-phrase idiom)——referring to an unpredictable psychotic partner in a broken relationship. “He keeps calling, hanging up, stalking me at work. I need to get a fucking court order or some shit! Friend: “Ya, girl, he's gonna boil-your-bunny if you're not fucking careful!!!” Idiom reference from 1987 film “FATAL ATTRACTION” (i.e., boiling pot of wife's pet bunny in kitchen scene). 8. BOIL Texting acronym BUST OUT IN LAUGHTER (tr. v.-phrase) “After the third round of drinks anything anyone said made us all BOIL our asses off.” 9. l'Boil (n.) Creole picnic featuring shrimp, crab, crayfish, sausage, corn, potatoes and onion BOILED in large pots with spices, shelled and doused with obligatory HOT PEPPER SAUCE. Usually including ZYDECO music. (See also ROUX; GUMBO). 10. Boil-down (phrasal v.) To reduce in size; i.e., to CONDENSE, SUMMARIZE. Ancient GREEK TRAGEDY is boiled-down to everyone dies, or pokes their eyes out. SHAKESPEAREAN COMEDY is boiled-down to after much ado about nothing everyone marries when disguised effeminate-looking young man is revealed to be a shipwrecked handsome young woman, thus deconstructing gender. 11. Boilermaker (n.) Slang WHISKEY with BEER CHASER. Reportedly hard-drinking 70s L.A. Poet Charles Bukowski's favorite drink. “I went to the worst of bars hoping to get killed but all I could do was to get drunk again.” 12. See also RABBIT-SKIN GLUE (n.) Adhesive substance created by prolonged boiling down of rabbit hide (e.g. “FATAL ATTRACTION” above). Used in book binding, traditional gesso, and the occasional horror-adultery film. Related articles: WAITER POURS BOILING WATER OVER CUSTOMER WHO COMPLAINED ABOUT HIS SERVICE; HOW TO TREAT A SCALD FROM BOILING WATER—14 STEPS; MAN DISSOLVED AFTER FALLING INTO BOILING YELLOWSTONE HOT SPRING; A WATCHED POT NEVER BOILS.

 

 

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