Advice For Aspiring Writers

Published writers will tell you that the most important thing you can do as a beginning writer is to know your markets! So this month, we'll talk about two of the markets open to you and your riveting but as yet unpublished prose -- Fling Magazine and Clubhouse Magazine. 

Fling describes itself as “a sex-type publication for young males 18 - 34 who like photos of very busty young models.” What kind of writing does Fling need? “Material dealing with sex in combination with busty females.” And what advice do Fling's editors have for the beginning writer who wishes to write for their publication, which reaches 100,000 bazooma fanciers monthly? “Fling needs a lot of emphasis on descriptions of female characters, particularly ‘big bosom' descriptions.” 

Got that? Hit that keyboard -- let's see what you've got to say about girls with large glands and the guys who adore  them!

And then there's Clubhouse -- a “Christian magazine designed to help young people feel good about themselves.” The editors state that their primary goal “is to let young readers know there is a God and that He loves kids.” Clubhouse reaches 15,000 Christian Youngsters (aged 9 - 14) monthly. What advice do the editors offer the aspiring writer about their magazine's likes and dislikes? “No Christmas stories that refer to Santa, elves, reindeer, etc.” they say. Sounds straightforward enough. 

Since these magazines have a lot in common (for example, neither is interested in elves) why not target one story to both of them? This way, if one mag doesn't leap at the chance to publish your prose, the other undoubtedly will. Your goal -- let your readers know there is a God and that He loves kids and women with large bazoomas. (And men who love women with large bazoomas.) 

Why not make it a Christmas story? Perhaps about a kid (9-14 years old) and his (18 - 34 year old) dad who wake up on Christmas morning to find a busty broad in their Christmas stocking. “Gee thanks, God!” they exclaim.  Just remember not to mention Santa, reindeer, etc.

Next month: The Atlantic Salmon Journal and The Atlantic Monthly.