Stories tagged humor

Beverly Abbey

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Downton Abbey and The Beverly Hillbillies. They're practically the same show.

Surveil

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“I want you to know that you are being watched,” Ernie said. “I have trained a camera on your work station.”

Mom’s Blue-green Eyes

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After school watching American Bandstand with my two best friends, all three of us lusting after Bunny Gibson who’s all of sixteen, stacked, and very fucking hot.

Larry's "Gonna Die" Parrtayye

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When we started plans for the party, none of us wanted Larry to die, most of all Larry himself. Actually, when we first started plans for the party, Larry wasn’t dying.

Well Enough Away

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Everybody knew the buildings were trying to kill us.

My Not Entirely Serious Predictions for Season Four of Sherlock

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The BBC's “Sherlock” is among the most popular shows on TV, and there has been much speculation among die-hard fans like myself about what the upcoming fourth season will hold. Having consulted my own crystal ball, here's what I see happening: Irene…

The Legend of Knifemouth’s Legendary Mouth Grows

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In the small towns of central and southern Illinois there lives a very indecent sort of man.

Poem for the betraying Lover and his new Love

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Wishing he holds you all night, unshaven chin/between your breasts.

Bubble-Wrap Suit

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Instead of being cautious Zoey made herself a suit of bubble-wrap, to wear whenever she'd ride her bike around town. Which was weird, but not too weird. Then she started wearing it all the time. That was when it was too weird.

I'm SO Bored of Being Retarded

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Yeah, so it’s an easy thing. I’m bored but that don’t mean it’s not an easy thing, to be retarded. I say that as to say I’m dumb = I’m retarded. Not to say that I’m lawfully retarded or no thing, because for then I’d just go ahead and just shoot myself de

Summoned by the Board

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They were all sitting naked in a sauna and drinking Diet Coke, with droopy ball sacks and sweat rolling over massive man titties and paunches. Yahweh sat on an upper bench, wearing dark goggles to protect his eyes from the brightness of his own still radi

Librarians! What Are We Hiding?

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Librarians are hiding something. What is it?

Which Way to the Vomitorium

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When I saw that Chez Panisse was serving crawdaddies (the menu called them crayfish, but I know a crawdaddy when I see it), I relaxed. I didn't eat the ugly creatures when my brother fished them out of irrigation ditches back on our farm near Roswell, and

Writer's Cough

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Ok, so I’m sitting here trying to write through a frigging cold. And I. . .Oops, . . . . . . wait a sec!. . . I’m stopped, astounded, stunned between coughing my left lung clear over my keyboard and watching it flopping on the back of my desk. . .

Hands Like White Porcelain

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Jesus is for sale. But he’s heavy.