1019 6 4
|
Beware of shouting Dress Barn, Dress Barn! when having an orgasm
And don’t tell him you were seeing Starbucks when you came
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1168128
|
"Check out these dudes,” he says. “They're all wearing kilts. Not that there's anything wrong with that, as long as they're wearing underwear.
|
117875
|
On a trail, Richard and I came upon a saguaro cactus that had dried in the shape of a human figure. Its arms were lifted and its back was stooped. I said, “It looks like my mother.”
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21511
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His friends were obsessed with the end of the world. The joke he had told himself over and over again while fishing, was that on his return, the town would be completely gone. A smoldering crater. People sure can influence you.
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87600
|
They ride horses through the living room ....
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5900
|
A short play based on college life.
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134722
|
I've never really been impressed with authors that write long teary-eyed novels about people dying of terrible diseases or uplifting stories about the armless boy who made the wrestling team.
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134685
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I'll never be a Republican Megadonor or a Doomed Aviatrix. But I'm okay with that.
|
1244108
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That's demeaning enough, but not as hard to take as the customers. They're all jaded hipsters, thumb diddling smartphone freaks, pretending their online interactions actually count as relationships and that “tweets” are real conversations. It's sad, reall
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180552
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"People do that. They cross the road when they aren’t supposed to and get away with it. They do it all the time. Only, then, he might think I was a rebel and I’d rather he imagine me a square. A square who never was a wild thing. A rebel who chose to be t
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373400
|
My niece Katie is wailing outside for all the world to see. We are standing in the Dillard's parking lot and she is drawing everyone's attention. Well, everyone in a 46-block radius. It has just been that kind of weekend--a wailing weekend. My sister-in-
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12400
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Tony sprang up the basement stairs. His haste was brought to an abrupt end by a towering dark figure blocking the doorway. Eyes like blazing coals peered out of a featureless plane inside a dark hood. Embroidered in red letters over a pocket on the left s
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1005118
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every timeyou openyour mouthan angel fallsinto a vat of whiskyshut ityou're fucking up heaven2013 - Rene
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93345
|
Soccer Tease
Nerdvana
Ballsa Wood
Pulp Friction
Spam Folder
Fetal Position
Wayne Newton’s Yacht
Late Bloomers
Sir Real Geese
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93422
|
My iPhone screen illuminates, vibrating on the bar. It amuses me to no end to see my comrades seated upon the neighboring stools grasp anxiously at their phones, parallel companions to their beers. I can almost read the thoughts accompanying their…
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