Stories tagged humor

Advice to the Lovelorn at the Mall

948948 views66 comments44 favs

Beware of shouting Dress Barn, Dress Barn! when having an orgasm And don’t tell him you were seeing Starbucks when you came

At the Reception

10711071 views1212 comments88 favs

"Check out these dudes,” he says. “They're all wearing kilts. Not that there's anything wrong with that, as long as they're wearing underwear.

Desert

10801080 views77 comments55 favs

On a trail, Richard and I came upon a saguaro cactus that had dried in the shape of a human figure. Its arms were lifted and its back was stooped. I said, “It looks like my mother.”

The Dart League

215215 views11 comment11 fav

His friends were obsessed with the end of the world. The joke he had told himself over and over again while fishing, was that on his return, the town would be completely gone. A smoldering crater. People sure can influence you.

Man Cave / Jane Austen

774774 views00 comments00 favs

They ride horses through the living room ....

Icebreaker (second draft)

5959 views00 comments00 favs

A short play based on college life.

How To Write Funny

12221222 views22 comments22 favs

I've never really been impressed with authors that write long teary-eyed novels about people dying of terrible diseases or uplifting stories about the armless boy who made the wrestling team.

Two Little Words

12571257 views88 comments55 favs

I'll never be a Republican Megadonor or a Doomed Aviatrix. But I'm okay with that.

Zeus Takes a Day Job

11101110 views1010 comments88 favs

That's demeaning enough, but not as hard to take as the customers. They're all jaded hipsters, thumb diddling smartphone freaks, pretending their online interactions actually count as relationships and that “tweets” are real conversations. It's sad, reall

Walking In My Big Black Boots

16891689 views55 comments22 favs

"People do that. They cross the road when they aren’t supposed to and get away with it. They do it all the time. Only, then, he might think I was a rebel and I’d rather he imagine me a square. A square who never was a wild thing. A rebel who chose to be t

In the Dillard's Parking Lot

35303530 views00 comments00 favs

My niece Katie is wailing outside for all the world to see. We are standing in the Dillard's parking lot and she is drawing everyone's attention. Well, everyone in a 46-block radius. It has just been that kind of weekend--a wailing weekend. My sister-in-

A Little Something For Halloween - Pt 1

124124 views00 comments00 favs

Tony sprang up the basement stairs. His haste was brought to an abrupt end by a towering dark figure blocking the doorway. Eyes like blazing coals peered out of a featureless plane inside a dark hood. Embroidered in red letters over a pocket on the left s

hush

916916 views1111 comments88 favs

every timeyou openyour mouthan angel fallsinto a vat of whiskyshut ityou're fucking up heaven2013 - Rene

Bands

866866 views44 comments55 favs

Soccer Tease Nerdvana Ballsa Wood Pulp Friction Spam Folder Fetal Position Wayne Newton’s Yacht Late Bloomers Sir Real Geese

That one night that was like all the other nights.

934934 views22 comments22 favs

My iPhone screen illuminates, vibrating on the bar. It amuses me to no end to see my comrades seated upon the neighboring stools grasp anxiously at their phones, parallel companions to their beers. I can almost read the thoughts accompanying their…