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And another thing is, I don’t want you to think I’m not happy by the fact that supposing I don’t want to think much at all anymore, well, I well don’t have to. I’m not made to think, meaning I was once pressurized to by pressures. BUT. Those days are over
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2600
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Due to this author's unavailability as a result of a paralyzing writer's block...
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430
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I sat in the dark, waiting for my client. Floorboards squeaked as someone climbed the stairs and stopped outside the door. At that exact moment the power came back on. I jumped at the sound of knuckles knocking on frosted glass and glanced at the bolt in the stud where I…
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89600
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Everyone wants to feel like the world has lined up against them and any achievement they have been able to attain was done despite the best efforts of everyone who isn't them. That's a given.
But there is one group of people who seem to have a point.
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153197
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"Think of every sexual partner you've ever had. I'm nothing like them. Unless you've ever slept with a bulimic German cellist called Elsa."
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138984
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Under no circumstances can you say "fuck" when you're working in a public library.
Especially in the junior room.
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2720
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I have a newer model computer named Semi Lenovo, who, it is rumored, used to be some sort of rock star, but now sits under the command of my fingertips. More or less. She does, I admit, sometimes seem to have a mind of her own and often runs off at the, f
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141200
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A poison bouquet of Merlot and brown floor muck bloomed in Seth’s nose. It’s one thing to sniff a freshly decanted red and another thing to shower in it.
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1354137
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That year, if you asked Al, was truly the best of times, the worst of times.
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175363913
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When God created Adam and then Eve, he thought they were fucking awesome. It's true that Eve grew on him but even so: awesome.
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106054
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Suddenly, the room was filled with a screaming vortex directed at a pinpoint in the corner. Timmy's bureau was gone and everything loose in the room was flying towards the spot it had occupied. Timmy stood up in horror. He tried to seal this rent by tossi
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109763
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By fiddling with the time space continuum and mixing in liberal quantities of quarks from his "Li'l Bang Dimensional Digester", Larry created an entirely new universe in his garage. This was a flagrant violation of Cosmic Law. It could not be ignored, nor
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6612
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In fairness, Jerry had made a convincing St. Bernard. Jerry’d convinced not only Barnard but his owner before Barnard, as well -- a man who clung to the handle “Old Pete.”
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6700
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I have always been a writer. Not a particularly good one, but I knew which end of the pencil should face the paper.
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11300
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You ever have one of them epiphanies? You know, when something simple causes ya to glimpse reality through your buzz? Yeah, I got that. Happened just a while ago to me.
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