Stories tagged humor

The Need To Know

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What I want to know is If the chickens start up with the turkey in the soup Do we just end up with a bunch of church-keys?

Band Names For Sale. Inquire Within

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Mythical Itch and the Unicorns Working Late Jacuzzi Floozy One Erection Diego Rivera’s Poncho Frieda’s Moustache Avalanche Babushka Dolls Photographic Mammary Drool Sir Gruntsalot Uber Rubber Iota Pie Elder Geese Ladylike Rud

Worker Reprimanded For Flatulence

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An employee at the Social Security Administration’s Baltimore office has been formally reprimanded for "conduct unbecoming of a federal employee," specifically for disrupting co-workers "by passing gas and releasing an unpleasant odor." According to the

Hemingway Test – 16 (Mayhem at Reagan Middle - Part I)

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“Something at the school. They didn't tell Miriam what happened, just said they're taking everybody to the hospital. Get Joe and tell him we have to get there ASAP.”

Hemingway Test – 16 (Mayhem at Reagan Middle - Part II)

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Every siren in the goddamned District of Columbia and probly Northern Virginia screaming through the streets.

Hemingway Test - 16 (Mayhem at Reagan Middle - Part III)

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One of the female teachers started masturbating with an eraser in front of the kids. She was rolling around on the floor. The boys started sprouting erections and the girls were pulling their pants down and jumping them.

and now for the news ...

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nope. no excerpt for you.

Pet Chicken Alerts Wisconsin Couple To Blaze

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A Wisconsin couple says fire clucks, not fire trucks, helped them escape a blaze at their home. The couple's pet chicken woke them at about 6:15 a.m. Thursday. He says the smoke alarms didn't go off when the fire started in the attic of their attached g

Hemingway Test 17 (Action report)

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“She had them up under her dress. She was making these sounds. I thought maybe she was having a heart attack, so I told Noah to run and get the nurse.

Voila, Viola. Finis!

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I’ve spent so many years avoiding every rhyme Maybe now it’s time To spritz a little juice upon it And squeeze out a little sonnet I’m sorry, I can’t do this I have to go take a piss I’ll be back in a jiffy, wearing a bonnet And get back t

Hemingway Test – 18 (Summit talk)

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“GONNA, goddammit! You say GONNA when you're talkin' to me! And what's this 'speaking', like you're some goddam kinda twit? When you're talkin' to me you say talkin', without the 'g'. It's more manly!”

The Russian on the Train

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I’m not sure if it was the fishnet stockings. Or the pouty red lipstick. Or the tight black leather skirt. Or the mountainous breasts

The Winston Peacock Transpiration

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Winston Peacock had had a long day that New Year’s Eve of the final full year of his old life. There had been contemplation about the grave failures, the money lost. The third quarter of this past fiscal year had been especially dismal.

Hemingway Test – 19 (Ringtones)

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“Blanton's single barrel. Best bourbon money can buy, in my humble hahaha opinion.” Trueblood waved it away.

Hemingway Test – 20 (Intrigue in Paris)

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“Bullshit called. As Sherlock would say, the game is afoot.”