4911 13 8
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"Life's Little Instruction Book." There are some words of wisdom here that I plan to ignore.
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80312
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With Abletofly you will be able to fly
and the feeling will be overwhelming!
That’s right, Abletofly.
A few warnings and precautions are in order, however:
Don’t try to drive a car if you experience an erection lasting more than eight hours.
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174021
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That’s how I’d met him really: drinking games. We’d both been at the local watering hole, challenging the other patrons to drunken games of chance and making a clean sweep of it. A few guys figured themselves for alpha dogs had Teqs cornered after he’d ta
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119700
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He took off his sombrero and playfully placed it on my head. “And really, don’t be upset. You’re fine. There’s nothing wrong with loving your cat.”
He was right, there is nothing wrong with loving your cat. But there is something wrong with owning a di
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40435919
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First published on www.humortimes.com
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21800
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You don’t like the look of Ruther as he comes out of the tin-roofed hut and squints into the sun. He looks like a real troublemaker. Just what you need right now. It’s going to be one of those days when you wake up and your coffee maker shorts out, you
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7153
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We had two cats, and then a stray turned up, flopped at my wife’s feet, and just like that we had three.
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121211
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I’d made it to the motel parking lot when I heard the footsteps. A sombrero may make me look good, but it does shit for my hearing, so the bastards were able to scoop me up real quick. The first one gave me a hard slap on the top of the head with an opene
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103454
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Lindsey and I are both talking loudly about things we would never talk about in real life, under the impression that this is all somehow instructional for Di. But I think it's really more about us. Di gives us an excuse to talk like two people unjustifiab
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112244
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What if blood engorging your penis could be the result of emotions other than sex and violence? Wouldn't it be nice if your dick could be used to express the lengths and depths of other feelings?
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10651410
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A woman posted a story on Fictionaut about discovering that her husband was a werewolf.
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130875
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Perhaps you have heard the rumors of big money in poetry
Maybe that’s why everybody is writing it these days
Even Emily Dickinson must have heard these rumors
Myself, I suspected as much 50 years ago
And started early to accumulate my hoard of poe
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102961
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The lipstick on your collar walked up the steps and through the front door, without a key. Her smile was hypnotically red and bountiful. The guards standing around didn't dare frisk her for weapons, her lips were weapon enough.
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140988
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Lucky bastard, he gets Glamour Puss and I get lady wrestler who's giving off the vibe she'll bludgeon me to death with her Bible if I make one false move.
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2800
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I gave my body to him on a bed of straw.
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