Stories tagged humor

Hemingway Test - Chapter 3 (Peterfid Center)

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“How about Rectal Research Center?” Gladys said. “Nobody will want to set foot on the property.” Sporadic snickering flitted around the table.

Hemingway Test – 4 (Sizing up the enemy)

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Talk was broken at first with apologies for the slurping and burping and the shrill crinkling of Aquifina bottles ...

Hemingway Test – 5 (Meet Bart Bullshit)

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“Sir??? Did you say 'sir'? Jeezuz Christ on a Popsickle, man, don't you EVER call me 'sir'! Unless I tell you to. Got it?”

LUG NUTS

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Trauukh shifted uncomfortably on his haunches. His paws sunk a good way into the muddy earth and small stones and twigs dug into the hairy pads. The cold October rain caused his fur to mat in places he would rather have unmatted. Real Halloween weather

THANKS FOR TRYING TO RUIN MY DAY!

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If you work with the public, you're stressed. Unreasonable customers. Demanding bosses. Reduced staffing. I love my job, but the workload is tough and getting tougher. What can we do to keep our spirits up?Play Customer Appreciation! It's simple. Assign a point value…

HOTEL PEOPLE

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It's 6:45 a.m. A gritty, mundane sort of magic pervades the air at "Valentine’s" in the Hamilton Hotel.

'I don't wanna not know you'

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She'd hung a handful of pink quartz, blue datolite and clear rock crystals from my rear-view mirror, they swayed and clapped together with each jarring impact of the F-250 as we headed up up up up. She said, "each time they click, it's good luck," brushin

Foreverfall

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Costas was the Greek who put these buildings up all over the city. But all it meant to us was forty five floors—all windows and glass—and not one ledge to give a foothold.

Hot News Flash

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No one shot, stabbed, slashed, or murdered in NYC Monday.

nerd

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We are nerds. We are Legion. We do not forgive. We do not forget. Expect us bitch.

Hemingway Test – 6 (The test)

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“God dammit, the Hemingway test! I need to know if you're a man or a fucking pussy!”

The IRS vs. the IRA

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I had to take one of those nervous Skinny little IRS poops.

Hemingway Test – 7 (Crash)

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“We're at war and this is our bunker.”

Hemingway Test – 8 (Discovery)

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“I never kiss and tell.”

Where You Were Dead

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i remember rocks hitting teeth and punching a kid in the mouth the way he bled on his white shirt that said, "Dino the Last Dinosaur"