Stories tagged humor

Crow Boots, like at the Crow Bar

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and two of his crow magnum buddies Were right on his tail

Sacrifice - 5 (Stakes)

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“OK. You're the CEO of a multinational corporation that buys politicians, hires foreign labor at slave wages and, worst of all, sells addictive poison to children..."

Crashes

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The door of the Continental opened an old man, a true geezer, stepped out, scratched his baked potato-shaped head. He was wearing sky blue polyester pants, Velcro shoes, a white striped polo that accentuated his man boobs and turkey neck. This man hunched

Homage to the Last of the Hard Boiled Dicks

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I was a laid off teacher with a pocketful of dreams and a closet full of masters degrees. It all short circuited and I hit the bricks to pick up the pieces of my life and reinvent myself. I tried a couple of dead end rackets that were one way tickets to nowhere. I did a…

Flipping Off People With Romney Bumper Stickers

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“Hey,” I begin, a naughty smile breaking across my face before I can get to the punchline, “Want to drive around flipping off anyone with a Romney bumper sticker?” Kaleb chuckles and beams at me. It seems everyone likes a good girl turned naughty.

Sacrifice - 6 (But...)

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Now they tell me this was all part of the plan, the research project. Get me out of office, disgraced and behind bars...

Sacrifice - 7 (Duh)

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When practical I much prefer soaking in a bath than dashing in and out of a shower, which had been my only option in prison the previous six months.

Sacrifice - 8 (Dammit!)

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I noticed the bright green beam of light linking the tabletop, where the cup had been, to one of the birds still hovering overhead.

The Portal To Hell

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Dave was in the market for a house. He stopped looking when he saw this listing: 4 Br. 3 bath. In-ground pool. 2 car detached garage. Ominous Portal to Hell. finished Basement. Some Demonic Undercurrents. Modern Kitchen. City Water. Appliances. Mus

Seth Who Loved KISS

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He used to sometimes buy two boxes of Lucky Charms, separate all the marshmallows from the first, add all those marshmallows to the second box, throwing away the remaining cereal.

The Long-Distance Runner-Accountant

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we accountants all consider ourselves at work in perpetual training for the Boston Marathon.

Sacrifice - 9 (Dammit! cont.)

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I saw a man I didn't recognize standing just outside the door staring at us. I had a feeling he'd been there awhile.

Soon, and for the Rest of Your Life

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. . . and the last thing you’ll smell will be new-cut pine.

Sacrifice - 10 (Feedback)

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Please trust me, this is no dîner avec André.

Sacrifice - 11 (Who?)

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"Who is the most dangerous person in the world right now?"