3777 8 4
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The first thing Vera did after her dismissal from the mortuary was buy a pack of cigarettes.
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3774114
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Lately, while he is upon me, in that way that men are upon women, I imagine him a pornstar with only one clip available for replay. Like I am a loop of a video girl below, taking it, maybe calling out in Russian. When I feel rambunctious, I imagine him a
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37691511
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...still the same old signs...
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376750
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I realize most automatonical authors stick to non-fiction, but if my work bears any resemblance to real automatons or events, I assure you it is purely coincidental.
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37652422
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I will gobble them like tiny men, missions and things to prove.
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375958
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But you know what? You give yourself a fall back plan, you fall back. Not me. I am shooting for the stars and rising high. Next week, I start filming my first feature film. I get to play Tommy Lee Jones’ sexy little stepdaughter. Me and Tommy are g
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37571110
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"I looked at this skinny, little female child, Meadow Simms. It wasn't only that she was small. Meadow Simms didn't look like other children. Her parents were hippies."
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37545244
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I planned to go to the ends of the earth to avoid rejection.
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375300
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"Buzz off," Jeff said. "You don't even know what a lesbian is."
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37534720
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The serious writer always knew there would be a last story but when the time came, he felt ill-prepared.
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3752126
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I seem to be at a crisis in this cursed writing life of mine[exclamation point] I am too depressed to squeeze another uncannily inspiring observation out of my pert[comma] sassy self[semi-colon] I waiver hysterically between feverish confidence and a pai
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374531
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Chap. XI: A Place Beauteous of Which I Dare Not Speak And when I had released the spirit from his worldly prison, he did show to me a way that man does not travel, though travel it I did with him until we should chance to see such things as should never be polaroided (and…
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374455
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"A little knowledge truly is a dangerous thing."
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374122
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What is the half-life of the daycare cold? That's what I'd like to know. Somewhere a scientist is carbon-dating a pterodactyl's knuckles, but does anyone really care?
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374100
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We will cut you up and feed you to the sharks.
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374083
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I just like puppies, and slapping people.
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3737104
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Stroman first saw the moons when he took Lisa’s blouse off. He did not call them moons when he first saw them; they were merely identical crescent-shaped crimson discolorations at the tops of each of her breasts.
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373713
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Saddam Hussein was a street-side seller of hot nuts near Faneuil Hall. He worked undercover there during the last Gulf War until just after it, as the US slagged the Iraqis. If only they'd known while they video-bombed his underground bunkers and chased his doubles that…
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3732104
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Two thousand and two was the worst year for love in the history of sports. People carried their sadness around in wheelbarrows.
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37236833
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I know he's an accident waiting to happen.
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371966
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IN TIME,
we will walk on gravel paths
studded with gemstones.
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37183721
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A cartoon of my personal insight to publishing as I know it.
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371262
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Your mom’s favorite joke right now is how enamored I am with the chair the nurse brought me, the one that converted into a bed. Apparently, it’s all I can talk about when people ask about your birth. But really what can I say? If I say the birth was easy,
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37111911
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371141
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"Both my parents were hypnotists. As were two of my grandparents."
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370320
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Hell found me. I was scouring my shelf for books to read last night and nothing seemed to interest me. There were books on anthropology, politics, economics, science, and sociology -- the works. There were also my Hornby's, Gaiman's, Tolkien's,…
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36993123
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369943
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I execute my plan (conceived hours earlier while painting toenails) to go next door to the 7-11 clone and buy some coffee. I am too lazy to walk six blocks to the grocery store. I understand that this is a problem but I will deal with it later I swear. …
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3698187
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She didn’t look a thing like his girlfriend. This alone should have been a sign that she was just a fling, a diversion from what he had known for the past five years. She began to think of his girlfriend as guess who. Guess who was at the opening, peopl
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369794
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I walk into the fruit and vegetable market and she sees me right away. I've been trying to avoid her and have been successful for more than three weeks. The break-up was not a good one. I still have a scar over my left eye where the glass ashtray hit me.
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