3732 15 11
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...still the same old signs...
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372911
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He ignored his scalded scrotum and listened intently. The music was beautiful beyond all physical pleasure or pain. The end of the piece gave him a deeper understanding of the expression 'la petite mort'.
While he was still recovering, the next track b
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372758
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But you know what? You give yourself a fall back plan, you fall back. Not me. I am shooting for the stars and rising high. Next week, I start filming my first feature film. I get to play Tommy Lee Jones’ sexy little stepdaughter. Me and Tommy are g
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37231110
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"I looked at this skinny, little female child, Meadow Simms. It wasn't only that she was small. Meadow Simms didn't look like other children. Her parents were hippies."
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37222422
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I will gobble them like tiny men, missions and things to prove.
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372031
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Chap. XI: A Place Beauteous of Which I Dare Not Speak And when I had released the spirit from his worldly prison, he did show to me a way that man does not travel, though travel it I did with him until we should chance to see such things as should never be polaroided (and…
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371355
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"A little knowledge truly is a dangerous thing."
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3711126
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I seem to be at a crisis in this cursed writing life of mine[exclamation point] I am too depressed to squeeze another uncannily inspiring observation out of my pert[comma] sassy self[semi-colon] I waiver hysterically between feverish confidence and a pai
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37094720
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The serious writer always knew there would be a last story but when the time came, he felt ill-prepared.
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370683
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I just like puppies, and slapping people.
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370513
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Saddam Hussein was a street-side seller of hot nuts near Faneuil Hall. He worked undercover there during the last Gulf War until just after it, as the US slagged the Iraqis. If only they'd known while they video-bombed his underground bunkers and chased his doubles that…
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37025244
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I planned to go to the ends of the earth to avoid rejection.
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369922
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What is the half-life of the daycare cold? That's what I'd like to know. Somewhere a scientist is carbon-dating a pterodactyl's knuckles, but does anyone really care?
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36962716
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3687104
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Stroman first saw the moons when he took Lisa’s blouse off. He did not call them moons when he first saw them; they were merely identical crescent-shaped crimson discolorations at the tops of each of her breasts.
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3687104
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Two thousand and two was the worst year for love in the history of sports. People carried their sadness around in wheelbarrows.
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36846833
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I know he's an accident waiting to happen.
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368066
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IN TIME,
we will walk on gravel paths
studded with gemstones.
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36721911
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367162
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Your mom’s favorite joke right now is how enamored I am with the chair the nurse brought me, the one that converted into a bed. Apparently, it’s all I can talk about when people ask about your birth. But really what can I say? If I say the birth was easy,
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36703721
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A cartoon of my personal insight to publishing as I know it.
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366794
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I walk into the fruit and vegetable market and she sees me right away. I've been trying to avoid her and have been successful for more than three weeks. The break-up was not a good one. I still have a scar over my left eye where the glass ashtray hit me.
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366443
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I execute my plan (conceived hours earlier while painting toenails) to go next door to the 7-11 clone and buy some coffee. I am too lazy to walk six blocks to the grocery store. I understand that this is a problem but I will deal with it later I swear. …
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3656107
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I'm waiting in line for the only bathroom in this bar while my mother is dying somewhere. I don't know where. I have to piss really bad. An obese Cinderella is in front of me and a zombie with ample…
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36553123
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365420
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Hell found me. I was scouring my shelf for books to read last night and nothing seemed to interest me. There were books on anthropology, politics, economics, science, and sociology -- the works. There were also my Hornby's, Gaiman's, Tolkien's,…
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3652187
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She didn’t look a thing like his girlfriend. This alone should have been a sign that she was just a fling, a diversion from what he had known for the past five years. She began to think of his girlfriend as guess who. Guess who was at the opening, peopl
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364941
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"Both my parents were hypnotists. As were two of my grandparents."
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36443215
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He wanted to walk in, take off his scrubs, and not have to look at pictures of peaches.
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364167
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My softness craves your weight. Give me your shape, and I won't resist it. Or, rather, I will but just enough to recall it. I can only give that much, and that's my fatal flaw. If I were a more pliable thing, I could let go of these impressions. The stains—coffee,…
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