I like temp jobs. But there's something about getting close to people, office parties, cakes for babies about to be delivered. I'm not cut out for the long haul.
I like those cubicles with the partitions so I can pick at my teeth, yawn when I've been up the previous night until two in the morning watching re-runs of The Twilight Zone.
Secretaries ask me “how many days,” their voices edged with envy, like they'd love to know when the monotony will end. It sounds like a question asked between prisoners behind bars, or within the walls of a 12 Step Meeting.
When I was at the law firm last year, Mickie, one of the paralegals, told me that I'd make a good candidate for the bar. I said it depended upon whether the bar served Kettleone or not. She bellowed, and I could see every tooth in that horsy mouth, and beyond: throat, epiglottis. I could have been swallowed by that mouth had I wanted to. That's what these companies do: swallow you whole and spit you out.
I worked picking flowers in the towns around Humboldt County: Arcata, Eureka, Forestville. I had to watch a safety video about picking safely, equipment handling, etc. In the room were three other men, all Mexican. The video had no sub-titles in Spanish and they looked wary, like the images would somehow translate enough of the story. But I realized that this was the story of their lives, and mine, too. How much more did I comprehend any of it than them? How much less?
Once in between temp jobs in New York City, I volunteered at a soup kitchen for homeless, battered women. My sister said, “That's horrible! How can you expose yourself to these victims?” Years later, divorced from her first husband, she quickly married the man who plowed their driveway. He had HIV. I said, “How can you expose yourself to this illness?”
I was a marching band co-ordinator in Pembroke, New York. A flautist told me all pianists are notoriously control freaks. I'd no idea there was any kind of pecking order among the orchestra members when I helped to market for the Santa Fe Chamber Orchestra.
I've worked many sales and marketing jobs where I'd tell strangers, “You're going to love this gel!” or “Imagine how you'd feel wearing that Chronograph.” I offered money back guarantees, two for one bargains. There would be dialogue scripts that I'd place little tweaks on: change the word “FANTASTIC” to BRILLIANT or “PRETTY” to ENGAGING! I've sold jewelry to the Japanese, catheters to cardiologists in Daytona Beach, butterfly nets to Science & Nature stores.
During a heated discussion, a former girlfriend once retorted, “Why don't you get a real job?”
It wasn't the first time I'd heard this.
I didn't tell her that the thought of doing one job, any one task for more than a few months made me crazy. I didn't tell her then that I felt the same way about girlfriends.
Instead I changed the subject. “Did you know that we spend a third of our lives sleeping?” She waited, used to my peculiarities by now. “I don't want to sleep through the other two-thirds.”
“You're just a big scaredy-cat,” she teased. “Commitment phobe.”
They were forever pressing to hear the L word, to move in, to exchange rings, or vows. Most nights, I'd lie awake wondering why the exchange of body fluids wasn't enough. Why was it always more, more, more when I wanted less, lesser, least?
Then another place would beckon: San Diego, where I could sell surfboards, or run the front desk at the Angola Inn in northern Minnesota. Or put out fires in Angels Rest State Park, Utah.
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Published in the first issue of The Brooklyner: http://brooklyner.org/2011/temporary/
Thanks editor(s), Ames John Gigounas!
Published in RIFT (Unknown Press, 2015)
Oh I love this! Funny narrator, great descriptions of the jobs, the folks, the climbing boredom... the whole tone here is great! I can relate, had so many jobs too, like your guy!
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Thanks a ton, Susan! So happy you enjoyed this piece. Have a great weekend.
Robert, There's something special about this story, the rhythm especially. And the visuals. I see it happening. I thought maybe the ending was a little too fast. I wanted one or two lines more. An ache? Maybe not. It's pretty damn good as it is.
Gay, thanks so much. And you might be on to something about the end. I had a similar reaction with some of my roundtable folks, so I will consider and might tweak it before I submit it to several places. Thanks for your astute suggestions.
What an excellent story!
It's like Philip Levine, writing flash. Well done, Robert. :)
I REALLY got a kick out of this, Robert. Giggled at the horsy mouth routine. Nice analogy with "It sounds like a question asked between prisoners behind bars, or within the walls of a 12 Step Meeting."
A couple thoughts to consider.
Scardy reads like scar dee. Not sure how best to spell it.
San Diego, where I could sell surfboards, or runthe front desk at the Angola Inn in northern Minnesota, or put out fires out in Angels Rest State Park, Utah.
The boredom really greys the page, in a good way. Great analogies and characterisation. Bravo!
Excellent, driving prose. *
Wonderful imagery and pacing, Robert. Enjoyed this story.
Well done, Robert. I like this a lot.*
Thanks to everyone who has read and for the great comments.
Temporary is temporary and I have often felt (as a freelancer) better to get out then get stuck. Or as you say, get chewed up and spit out. Enjoyed it.
Thanks so much, my so not temporary friend, A! You are astute in pointing out the freelancer's benefit: get out, not get stuck! Thanks for your read, comments and fave. I appreciate you more than you can ever imagine.
I like the sequence to this, the building up of layers that bring out the character. Nice!
Susan, I appreciate you reading and commenting! I hope your summer is going swell.
Robert, this is simply superb. You've captured the life of anyone in the business world, not just temps or people who have to jump from one job to another. Love the narrator. Very well written. FAVED IT.
Thanks soooo much, Michael! I wrote this a while ago, and recently pulled it back out, and updated it (from a 90s feel!) I am really happy that it rings bells for my writer pals, including you!
So love this, Robert!! Great narrator and love his temp job moving through it all narrator, "I've worked many sales and marketing jobs where I'd tell strangers, “You're going to love this gel!” or “Imagine how you'd feel wearing that Chronograph." And this his unwillingness to go for the full commitment anywhere is outstanding!!! It all works!! Big fave ******
Splendidly noncommital piece on commitment phobia! Living for the umpteenth time in my fifth country, I get this! Next I want to read your work on yearning to belong! *
@Meg, so thrilled that you got this one, and a million thanks!
@Beate, I am so grateful for your comments, always. So happy this one connected for you.
I was thinking about "The Misfits."
"Anythings better than working for wages."
Well done.
James, I hadn't thought of "The Misfits" and that is one of the things I adore about you. Love the quote!
Thanks for your read and comments.
i can definitely relate to this guy (except for the bodily fluids being enough). :) yes, very well done. love that it ends with more forward momentum.*
Hi Jen, so nice to know this guy is relatable and I appreciate the fluidity distinction! Thanks so much for your read, insights and more than anything, your support.
You really captured something here (and I should know because I think you wrote this about me). I've been on the temp circuit for quite a while, and not just jobs. This narrator, I can relate to him, of course. In lots of ways, I am him. Great writing, Robert. *
Foster, I think we might know several folks in common. This character is a composite of many of my male friends, me included. Many a temp job has been in my resume! I have yet to write about a former employee whose love of the words "per diem," and just the way she coaxed them into every sentence still makes me squirm. Thanks, of course, for your comments and support.
Yes, superior work, fun to read, and nails the voice just right.
Wow, Neil, thanks a ton! Such generous comments. I am grateful.
Ha! There's no Angola Inn in Minnesota. Esp. northern Minn. Maybe in Anoka. Or White Bear Lake.
Good story anyway. Faveroo.
Thanks, Jack! some things are stranger than fiction. I appreciate your support.
"Why was it always more, more, more when I wanted less, lesser, least?"
Such a great moment in a totally cool story, Robert.
Also a great concept!
The Man Who Wanted Less--I'd like to read that novel. An American Oblomov.
Quite funny, Robert. Love the narrator's voice here, which you've captured so well. Like how the narrator not only works temp jobs but is also a "temp" in other aspects of his life.
Christian, thanks so much for your read, and your astute comments as always. Much appreciated.
Terrific, Robert, per your norm. *
Love "their voices edged with envy," and the horsey mouth image , "and beyond: throat, epiglottis." Made me envious, wished I used the word epiglottis. Awesome character and movement in this story, Robert. Seems a lot of us can relate, male and female.
"Ask me to do anything for a limited time, just don't ask me to do it for the rest of my life" I said that. Ho hum, another brilliant piece from Robert Vaughan. Love it! fave
Thanks, Emily! And Mary Anne, so happy you can relate, and your generous comments both made my day!
And James! You slipped in here so quietly, and yet, don't think for a second I hadn't noticed! Thanks for making my day brighter.
Enjoyed this. As far as publishing, I see you posted in on The Brooklyner, the new online/print mag. Might be a good piece for their inaugural issue.
Are there any real jobs? For some people, I think not.
Very real piece.
@Mathew: Thanks for your support and suggestion about The Brooklyner. I will send it there!
Estelle: I agree completely, are there? And for some, nope! Not this guy, anyhow. I appreciate yourbread and comments.
This is great. Love the comments, too. Temp work provides so much grist for the writing mill! In the late 70s, I'm now convinced that a temp agency in Honolulu sent me to work for Obama's grandmother at a bank. I called the agency during the first hour and said "get me out of here." I preferred jobs where I could slack off.
Katie, thanks for sharing this great tidbit of nostalgia! If that doesn't work into one of your flash fictions, then I will use it! Ha ha!
Seriously, thanks for the support and kind words.
This has some excellent moments. The turn from work to relationships works well. I'd work on the ending. It's close, and I guess the putting-out-fires works metaphorically, but it left me wanting. Great juxtapositions here!
Thanks Sean, I may re-think the ending now that you and others have suggested. Then again, I'd rather leave a reader wanting more, than wanting less. I appreciate your comments.
A succinct, candid and amusing look into the mindset of a temp. I've done a lot of temping and laughed as I read. You conveyed in an understated way the sense of dread the temp feels while contemplating what it would be like to work long-term in the same cube, with the same cube rats.
Thanks, David, for your read and generous comments.
Modern day hobo. As someone tethered to tenure, temping sounds life an escape hatch. Tapped a nerve, sir. Peace *
Linda, love your comment. It's so poetic, and your observations are always welcome. Thanks so much!
Want to have a beer with this guy. Or be a gypsy with him, temporarily of course. Regret will never catch up to this guy. Your piece has great energy, snappy language. Favorite line: "...why the exchange of body fluids wasn't enough." You just dissected the Y chromosome. Bravo.
Maura, I am really happy that you like this piece. Your generous comments made my morning bright! Thanks for the support.
Enjoyed the rhythm and voice and jobs and people and slight sadness and boredom in this story, and the admittance of wilful vagrancy and fear of committment. :)
It reminds me that it's easier to like something when it's only temporary, such as when you're traveling or just passing through. But isn't all of life like that?
Thanks, Berit! And yes, I think all of life might be glimpsed through this lens. Or at least temporarily? LOL I appreciate your support so very much.
Robert, a terrific piece. I used to be this guy. And then SHE came along. Thirty years of marriage and a steady job later....I am ready to be him again. But the marriage IS in the way. What do you think??? LOL *
Thanks so much Andrew! I really appreciate your reading and great comments! I think whomever you are with is a lucky gal.
I like round numbers, so let me make this an even 30 stars. And this narrator is so real to me. Great.
Tina, you are the best. Even numbers are wonderful, round numbers even better and I appreciate you. Thanks for taking the time to let me know what you think about this story.
I can relate to this. I worked temp jobs for a long time and was addicted to travel and change. Standing still made me spin...Excellent writingJ! *
Thanks so much, Bobbi! I appreciate your generosity!
like a walk across the map not only of the USA but the internal landscape of hopes, dreams, wishes. "Most nights, I'd lie awake wondering why the exchange of body fluids wasn't enough." is my favorite. i like how there are different readings of this as a realistic, a comedic, even a tragic piece.
Thanks, Marcus, for your insightful comments, and, as always, your meaningful support. You are a kind and generous man and I am grateful.
Funny edge to it. Liked it tons.
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Thanks so much, Gloria! I am so grateful for your generosity.
I laughed out loud and remembered my own shameful telemarketing jobs!
Thanks, Martha! I've been there, too!
This feels familiar, especially about wanting less! Very nice.
Thanks, Eli! I appreciate it!
What a great piece – I loved the voice and the way the narrator details each job he's had. As one who is living the temp life now after years in a “real job” in the corporate world, I’m glad to be among the commitment phobes.
Lisa, so sorry I didn't see this earlier. Thanks for the comments and I look forward to reading some of your work!
Excellent portrayal of someone who avoids bureaucracies and marriage by being a permanent temp. Very convincing. Fires vs surfboards is a tough choice. fave*
Gloria, thanks a ton! This was fun to write and I'm glad you enjoyed the slacker mentality here!
This was excellent Robert. Loved reading it from start to finish. Very skillful, and great work with the title too. *
Javed, thanks so much for your comments! I really appreciate them and the fave also.