Do you remember when we were kids, how I wrote letters to Bill when he went to military school, sealed the envelopes with a kiss and hoped that would make everything OK? Do you remember how you laughed at me then, brother, how you said kissing the envelope (x, I wrote) was stupid, how you mocked me for adding S.W.A.K. across the glue, said it was a show of weakness (well, what you really said was “that makes you look like a dumb girl,” but I knew what you meant, even then).
II.
My crush on Bill lasted through high school, but I hated it when he sent me a picture of him and his college roommate, arms slung around each other, fingers casually clutching Coronas, with that huge Rebel Flag on the brick wall behind them. You said, Don't hold it against him, but I did.
III.
I was always too political, you said, with my Malcolm X posters and my DC rallies. I laugh at that now, cause who's fighting the fight? Who said it was his duty, his calling, his right? Who turned patriot overnight?
IV.
That last day together, we sat on your porch and felt the weight of the sky, turned up Exene and John and sang The Fourth of July. You passed me a Camel and I grinned, recalling how I started. It was your fault. Do you remember? I begged a cigarette off you at that party I wasn't supposed to go to; I gagged and you made me smoke the whole thing, said Smoking's not pretty. It made me sick, but I was determined to be as cool as you.
-Do you have to go?
-No.
-But you're gonna go?
-Yeah.
V.
And then you were gone, just like that. I signed my letters with x's and o's, didn't care if you called me a dumb girl. I tried to understand, but I think you always knew how much I hated that war.
VI.
I looked up your camp, marked an x on the map but my pen was too thick, made a smudge over the whole region. It's OK, though, 'cause I didn't want to say the name or remember it, I just wanted to see it on my globe, halfway round the world from here.
VII.
I wrote short stories when you left. Desert stories, some on this continent, some over there. I wrote one called “Homecoming” but it was no good, so the other day I cut it right out of my system, control-x.
VIII
It's December now. You've been gone six months. I got the call from Mom two days ago, merry fucking x-mas. The screams spilled over the linoleum and took my voice. I've not spoken since.
IX
A letter came today, from you. It's sitting on the kitchen counter, I haven't touched it.
-Promise you'll write.
-I promise.
-Liar.
-Cross my heart and hope to die.
You always kept your promises.
I sense you across the universe; love is all you need, they say, but my heart's bursting with love for you, brother, and I don't know where to put it any more.
I stare at the letter, mouth dry with sand and sorrow.
X.
I drive to your place, climb the stairs to your porch. There's a cat here, black as night, sitting on the step you never did fix. Your letter burns my pocket. If I open it, your voice will fill my ears, my head, my heart, and then it will drift out into the forever night.
I pull the envelope out of my pocket and marvel at your tiny neat print, the black x written after your name.
I sit on the stairs, smoke a cigarette alone.
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A finalist in the Glass Woman Prize 2012 competition -- thank you Beate Sigriddaughter. The original version was written for the Flag Day Challenge in 2010.
unpublished
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This was very touching and I enjoyed reading it (in the way one enjoys reading something very well written but very sad). Kudos!
Each chapter is a poem unto itself. Internal rhymes sound out the sentences into lines of verse. I am hard pressed not to love it. So I do.
"cause who's fighting the fight? Who said it was his duty, his calling, his right? Who turned patriot overnight?"
Very powerful story Michelle and very well written. You captured the pain of losing her brother to an unnecessary war. "-Do you have to go?-No. -But you're gonna go? -Yeah."
Thank you, Michele. You write for a lot of people here. I will be thinking of them all on Flag Day.
This moved me. That's all I can say. After I read it, a song came to mind ... "Bye, bye, Miss American pie. Drove my Chevy to the levee but the levee was dry, good old boys ..."
The reason for remembering the song was the reason behind this story, a timeless thing, a sad thing. Beautiful piece.
Thanks to all of you for your generous comments on this piece.
Kait and Jack and JMC -- I am glad it touched you; it impacted me as the writer, so I am heartened to hear of the impact it makes on the reader.
Juhi -- I am so pleased you like the internal rhymes. I played with this a long time, putting it into lines of poetry, then rearranging it again, then back to verse, then this, finally. It was a live thing as I worked it, each story feeling like its own small story, yes. Thank you for your comment.
And James -- Interesting you thought of a song while reading this. A central theme here is that song, Fourth of July, by the band X (Exene Cervenka and John Doe).
This is brilliant, Michelle! The theme of the x with its different meanings - but unobtrusive. The sadness, the denial, the stages of grief, riveting. Love the format too, makes for easy reading and takes us step by step.
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Awesome piece, Michelle. The symmetry in structure, theme, and of course (per usual) the writing. Brava!
Michelle, the voice contains it all for me: really well done.
The form is really a success here, Michelle. The writing moves well. Very filmic. Great voice. The closing image is perfect.
A very moving story. Brings back many memories, not happy ones.
This is such strong work. What you did here with the format works really well for the emotional struggle going on-- each stanza is another quiet yelp
Clever use of the x but it never grates. The story left me with a heartwrenching pang. I am very impressed.
This places a warm hand over the heart and doesn't let go of that feeling.
This got me: "Cross my heart and hope to die. You always kept your promises."
Wow!
This so inventive & powerful, Michelle.
Bravo!
Ooh, very angry. Nice.
Michelle,
This is so incredibly powerful. By the third stanza, my hand was over my mouth, pressing hard. In the 4th I thought, who remembers Concrete Blonde (I never listened to them but wrote a law review article about music recording contracts), VIII brought tears to my eyes. "You always kept your promises".
Beautiful, despite and because of the pain. This is a tour de force of what a sibling's death must mean.
Michelle, this is magnificent.
Thank you all so very much for your comments and faves. This piece is close to my heart. Experimental in some ways, and it heartens me to hear the support. That "cross your heart and hope to die" is such an oft repeated phrase, and one that always makes me uncomfortable. Seemed to fit here. Very pleased that the form and the voice and all those x's work. It means a great deal to me to receive such comments and careful readings from you all.
This is very very beautiful, Michelle. Even when you know how it's gonna play out, the language, the depth of feeling is great. And then there are some wonderful lines. Loved this.
Oh my God, this was so beautiful, sad and so well written. The tone, the pain and aguish, the missing of him. Really beautifully written.
X
the variable heart
that damn war
every war.
passionate, accurate, well formed story
*
You capture the raw emotion and write about it so powerfully. Poetry and song and story. I will be thinking of this for some time.
lovely story... i've survived two brother's one, the one that died of AIDS' last words were "I'm not ready yet." the other died of a heroin overdose his last words were "fuuuckkkk iitttt" I have yet to capture this really well in a short story. Pierces too close to the heart. You've done a great job here.
Stunning.
Really nice stuff here, Michelle. The repeated x is especially haunting.
Your writing is so restrained, yet smooth and delicate, with words kind of winding themselves through the story. The course of the action was what I expected, but the little particulars you incorporated made it authentic. You used the repeated x's well - I would have been too timid to try that. Sweet and awful, in equal portions.