The Wall: A Love Story, Of Sorts
You remember our first dance? You there, me here: a mismatched pair. You held out your hand. I didn't know you, but you pulled me up, up, up… and I let go of everything and found myself in the arms of a strangely familiar stranger. We were high, floating on a wild November night. Hot breath, cold sweat, embracing an orgy of frenzy, noise, delight. We marveled at the night, argued about wrong and right. I drank your Coke, you smoked my F6.
Just like a commercial.
Three years later and we're making commercials, only this time it's Vita-Cola-Realpolitik and you keep saying baby, we're selling what sells. You and me and Ostalgie. Don't worry that the kid's crying; Mama and Papa are self-employed. Achtung, baby, you keep saying, like it means something. But you still haven't learned my language.
And now we don't fight about wrong and right but the bottom fucking line and the Turks living upstairs and the bicycles crowding the entryway of our apartment building. I need to get in and out, you say.
I'm sick of the Marlboro Man but I pull long and hard anyway and can't help but laugh when you come to bed wearing a stiff shit-green Vopo hat you call a relic, a find. Still, I feel a worry growing in my gut, wonder if our children will be more like me or you, and I realize what I really mean is whether they'll be more like us or them.
|
33
favs |
2043 views
41 comments |
264 words
All rights reserved. |
Author's Note
Before and after. Ossie-Wessie fairy-tale, set during the wave of excitement and nostalgia that followed the fall of the Berlin Wall on November 9, 1989.
I lived in Berlin and elsewhere in Germany in the 1980s and 1990s. I go there in my stories still.
Short and sharp. I like this.
(I travel in my dreams, too. Less hassle and paperwork.)
:)
Slick. You know, like a commercial.*
Liked this a lot, reminded me to think of what we sell when we sell out.
"I need to get in and out, you say.". That was great.
Wonderful. A+
Oh, and a * too.
Engaging and nuanced - love it. *
Exceptional writing -
"I'm sick of the Marlboro Man but I pull long and hard anyway and can't help but laugh when you come to bed wearing a stiff shit-green Vopo hat you call a relic, a find."
I hear the heavy western music -very Bonanza - as soundtrack. Really like the voice in this piece. Strong work. *
Love the wry humor in this. *
I love the three years later business, tells a big story in a very few words. fav.
I hear dreams are on special this week.
Concise and ascerbic, but there's a lot of heart, too. *
Some brilliant lines here. A keeper. *
always an edge w/your work - good stuff here
Thank you for the comments, folks. Glad you find that the lines, the rhythms, the contrasts work here.
Really appreciate the time you've taken to read.
Carol -- I think that line sums up the western attitude, the way that movement is taken for granted. Glad that stood out for you.
I'm gonna go listen to some heavy western music now, Sam.
Ahhh, I love the ending. Perfect!
Must read for Berlin Fictionauts...This one is REAL.
Nice work. Good edge.*
Geopolitics and love in a small apartment. Microfiction done so well it is both poem and prose narrative.
Thank you, Chris and Marcus. Glad this Berlin story resonates.
Thank you, too, Gary and Gary. Appreciate the comments and support. Poem and prose -- gosh, that is a lovely thing to say.
I liked the jump-cuts across time. What Marcus said: REAL
Really good. Ending is perfect.
*
The singsong innocence at the beginning is a great choice. How the piece unfolds into the adulthood of knowing, lamenting what one can't (easily) change.I need to get in and out... brilliant.
Living as a foreigner in Ossieland and having also lived in Wessieland, I am able to relate to the differences in culture between East and West Germany that you so profoundly elude to . It is amazing that Germany could develop so differently just because of socio-political structure and that even in love, or after love, that these two cultures will always be separate or different enough. But this story is also, I think, about how we go back to where we come from as we grow older and that this might separate us from the person that we chose to be with, to unite with ...
I agree about the ending. It nails and makes permanent what precedes it and sends the reader to the top again with an interest in seeing how you did it, so intensely compact and spanning politics and love and lust and family and travel. *
gee, this is good *
So great to have another Michelle Elvy signature piece up at Fictionaut. LOVE THIS ONE!
*
good stuff. strong work.
Love the apprehension as to what will happen to after idealism mixes with reality and that last line is a stunner.
Thanks to everyone who came to this story today: Derek, Bill, Jodi, Ann, Walter, Robert, James, Kyle. Glad that ending works for you. Your readings mean a lot to me.
And Quirina -- I'm so glad this story resonates with you and you understand it do deeply, too. Good meeting you here, and thank you for reading and commenting at length.
Many wonderful layers to this, Michelle.
*
Completely enjoyed, Michelle. The shift was perfect, so was the ending *
Beautiful* Great use of time and perspective.
There's sadness for me in this. I love the excitement in the beginning, and mourn a little the benevolent sense of humorful anxiety in the end. Oh, to keep the "up, up, up" forever. *
Thank you Matt, Fos, Jen and Beate. Yes, Beate -- that up, up, up was a glorious moment. Bound to fall, but still... Glad you think I captured that here. Appreciate all the reads and comments, folks.
This one reminds me that so many of your pieces are propelled by a couple's dynamic. I like that version of life.
This one reminds me that so many of your pieces are propelled by a couple's dynamic. I like that version of life.
Love the way you personify the wall, make it a character. And which 'side' will win? Who knows, but what sweet, delicious tension. Peace *
Strong voice to this concise piece. I think you've captured well the euphoria of any great moment and the reality that returns later.
Thank you to recent readers -- Guy, Linda, Chris. Appreciate the comments and positive response. I'm glad this piece captures the tension at various levels. And euphoria and reality, Chris: yep, they go hand-in-hand. Glad that worked for you.
Found this from the link on your comment... missed it while I was Gone. Love the conflict, the uncertainty perfectly portrayed.
Ah thank you, James!
Wonderful flavour, reeks of authenticity, "you and me and Ostalgie" is so terrific, and of course "I need to get in and out," you say, oh yes, oh yes, oh yes.
*****
Thanks, Andrew -- and so glad you feel the line "I need to get in and out, you say." :)