by Bill Yarrow
28
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This poem first appeared in LITSNACK on 11/14/10/
Thank you, Dan Tricarico
This poem appears in my chapbook FOURTEEN (Naked Mannekin, 2011).
The poem appears in Pointed Sentences (BlazeVOX, 2012).
Video: http://youtu.be/7hcjxFtwhkM
Powerful writing, Bill. Great images.
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Yes! fave!
Second what Foster said. Add another *.
Absolutely. You bring a distinctly realistic vision to your poetry.
Oh my gosh, this is so vivid. Simple and powerful... stunning. *
Yes, good to read this again. "Radiantly happy" and "wrapped in the newspaper that announced your death"...no holds barred as usual, Bill. Fave.
"radiantly unhappy" I mean...
Always like your take on the formal lyric. A strong form for you. Nice phrasings, Bill.
Your work and mine seem to split a good mirrors. We tend to approach a piece from opposite sides of the mountain... or glass. You begin with the formal and move away / I begin outside the formal and circle in. But, there is - what I call - a ritualistic connection with language in each of us. And, I think, it connects in how the language sounds when mixed with the image. I can see and hear that similarity in the two closing lines here:
“She walks alone in black high heels
down the corridor of sterile engagement.”
I like how your piece slides to that moment, to those two lines. Good. The closing line here is a killer of a line – and it’s the motion in the penultimate line that allows it to work its magic. My approach would be just the opposite, opening with that image of the walking. Oh yes. Very me. Makes me want to write it – right now.
Great piece. Fave.
One of the best openings I've read since Alan Dugan, and a terrific follow-on right to the end.
You’ve done a lot in so few words. I found the last five lines simply amazing.
Terrific poem, Bill. Love the title, the imagery - just great.
oh my. thunder and lightning in one place. great piece. i also enjoyed sam's note. the end is wonderful.
What they said...
great stuff.
Bill, I read this twice and came up with a different understanding of it both times - I love it when a poem does this - opens it up to so much conjecture. Did you mean...? Or perhaps such a clever metaphor, hinged on the title? Or maybe...?
fav
Strong poem. Like "wrapped in the newspaper that announced your death."
Yes. *
Terrific images Bill
"Radiantly unhappy." A little bit of magic. *
Really nice. I love the "corridor of sterile engagement"--excellent. :) A fave.
Oh yes. I remember reading in Litsnack. It has a prophetic/Biblical feel - if you don't mind me being free with that association - and soul-stirring power. -- * Q
I thought I was one of the first people to comment on this one but I don't see my comment anywhere now. Oh well fave of course.
wonderful. l loved it.
There are so many gorgeous lines in here, the imagery vivid, the multiple meanings mysterious and yet accessible... congrats on the Litsnak pub.
Found Sam Rasnake's comment to this piece wonderfully educational.
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Goodness, back reading on fictionaut and the first piece I read is this. Feel like I've been punched on the nose.
Stunning and powerful.
Loved "radiantly
unhappy without you," and the ending, so wonderful!
I loved the opening lines also. I agree with David Ackley and what he said about your opening line and Alan Dugan.
"...your daughter,
wrapped in the newspaper
that announced your death."
Wow, what an image! This was powerful. Nice work, Bill.
You write like a boxing match, pow to the chest, post to the jaw. Powerful and spare. Peace *
ah....fab! this really packs a punch to send you reeling. I loved it!
sorry so late to the party Bill. this one is stunning - nothing new in that respect, but it is like reading your work for the first time again. Wonderful and God, what power.
stunning
Yes, I agree with the comments about this poem. Powerful.
Meg P thinks she's 'late to the party' ... ha! What does that make me, six, seven years later?
An archeologist of ... something-something.
Saw this in Fourteen, Bill. Good stuff.
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So much emotion in this -- I can't think of the right adjectives, other than what those have already stated. Gut-wrenching, for sure. *