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The Adventures of Tequila Kitty: Chapter 3 - by Brian Lepire

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I’d made it to the motel parking lot when I heard the footsteps. A sombrero may make me look good, but it does shit for my hearing, so the bastards were able to scoop me up real quick. The first one gave me a hard slap on the top of the head with an opene

Summertime

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“Mescaline occurs naturally in our bodies, you know,” I said.

Game Night

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Randy stood in the alley behind Krasnowski Construction with a loaded gun shoved down the front of his pants. His friend Todd was inside, unloading the safe. And when Todd walked out the door, Randy was going to shoot him in the face.

Julia

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Six months later, she was teaching theology / to refugees from est.

Empty Spaces

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Art lives.

Get More Protein From Your Music

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“Kids,” I say, commiserating with my partner Bink. “You can’t live with ‘em, but you can live without ‘em.”

too pissy for poetry

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feeling obligated to write/ is like feeling/ obligated to fuck.

On Women

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She was prepared

Just a Suggestion.

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[testing ... one, two, three ... testing ... is this thing on? ... ok, here goes:]

(girls in their summer dresses)

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The life, the burning up that works up our loveliness, hot under the surface that is tempted to show forth its parts after being confined, enclosed, shut in. Beautiful honey-water sliding out of long bleak skies, after all the howling of our legendary you

Treasured Souls

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Oh, but we have lost-- such treasured souls, at immeasurable costs. Oh, but we do moan and cry-- such treasured souls, no tangible, useable reasons why. Oh, but we whose hearts do bleed-- such treasured souls, we…

So Little

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I must apologize for only having words to bring todaywith me. They seem so little to give and not much tooffer you. All their silly little hats seem to have been around with us now for quite some time. Others before me have certainly worn them farbetter…

Bipolar Me

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Thoughts That Wake Me Like a Bad Dream 1 through 3

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The police states of German National Socialism/ and the Soviet Union are but pencil studies

Pink Tights, Tu-Tus and Schmaltzy Music

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And then I get a call from a different kind of bar They say you’re drunk on Cosmos and actin’ quite bizarre.

Cato

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She was the clerk in the photography shop.

Staying in the Car after Arriving Home

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i sat in the car for a while / even after i arrived at the house / facing the garden with my headlights on / casting on it a dreary sort of fantasy

Congratulations On Your New Diagnosis! (Greeting Cards for People With Mental Problems)

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First published on www.humortimes.com

Lady in the Cave

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Life strikes another blow and away I go: back to the cave to sleep, read, write, dream, soothed by rocking chair therapy, spend hours on hours looking at photo memories, lighting incense and candles, crying, howling out the injustices smothering me. …

Hand-Me-Downs

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Five Stories From a Funeral

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1. Premonition “He had a premonition,” Agnes, the widow, said. “He said he was going to die.” “Ma,” Gregg said, “he always said he was going to die. He was the Fred Sanford of Central Ave.” “But this time it came…

Thanking Harry

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At a candlelit table near the back of the restaurant, Jack and Lois greeted the waiter as he delivered their drinks, a diet coke for him, and for her, a vodka and cranberry. He apologized for the slow bar service and promised to return in a moment to take their…

The Maximum Security Book Group

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"So what about this week's selection?" I ask cheerfully. "What did everybody think?" "I liked it!" says Liz. She always does--her tastes aren't very discriminating.

Predator

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Uncounted hens and piglets/ die at my demand. The killing floor// runs red for me. I am/ monstrous to creatures small and great,

Hair

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I had a temperature of 105 degrees. I lost all my hair.

Receive Death As The River Stone

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Death. That which lays all men equal in the eyes of the earth. Their is one for each of us, a unique snowflake of demise tailor made for every organism that persists in this convoluted game of life.

Reciting Verse on the Toilet

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He is the kind of boy that is so handsome / you already expect there is something wrong with him

Without Knowing It

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If this isn’t Paradise, what is?/ Your own eyes wide with/ the imagination, the knowing,/ the not-knowing of it all.

The Closet

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Her thirteen year old daughter had hung herself in the hallway closet of the old house. Now the closet was empty and unused. The door was locked.

The Adventures of Tequila Kitty: Chapter Two: Confessions of a Crazy Cat Lady - by Aimee Hamel

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He took off his sombrero and playfully placed it on my head. “And really, don’t be upset. You’re fine. There’s nothing wrong with loving your cat.” He was right, there is nothing wrong with loving your cat. But there is something wrong with owning a di