Most read stories

Illustrated Comments on the Apophatapataphysical Metrics of Cosmic Humor

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(the vast preponderance of dark matter and dark energy discernible in these latter days begins to suggest just how dark the humor of existence is) . . .

Confessions of a Likeaholic

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"Something happens in a magical, soulful part of the heart...and you see YOU. You see yourself." "I can't look at myself."

Nearly Lost

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My body feels chilly but it's not from the outside temps. It seems to me it's the opposite of a fever.

Cleveland Clinic

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Allie didn't share that moment with Jim. That moment he spoke about whenever they made new friends as a couple— that moment he planned to recount at their engagement party.

The Concord of This Discord

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-Love is a rushing of blood

After: An All American, Post 9-11 Love Poem

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After he got on one knee, and she said, I do. After they watched the televised bombs disappear the city. After everyone fell asleep. After shock and awe, him and her making love…

You Never Forget Your First

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There is nothing like your first time, and by that I am referring of course to the first time you purchased a 45.Going to a record store and buying a 45 is a uniquely Boomer experience. Because, alas, there are no more 45s. Or, for that matter, record stores. The…

Animal Shadows

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One day when they were sitting on the curb together at 4th Street and Mendocino Avenue in Santa Rosa and Joe was calling out to passers by in a singsong voice, “Spare change for cigs,” she had persuaded them that they should try to join the circus.

My Brain is a Pre-Historic Babe Magnet

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Ug seemed kinda down in the dumps so, uncharacteristically for a male hominid, I asked him why he looked so glum. “Ug no find nice girl,” he said, poking a stick in the dirt.

Pop Bottle?

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Who ever saw an open upright pop bottle on the street?

boring

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You don't want to knowthe details of my lifethe gossipthe boring moments strung togetheracross the lap ofmy sense of responsibilityit drives methrough the daysdoing this and thatchore, check on the listi am tired and need to stop for a drinkand then, i am filled up for a…

Kitty Cat

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Even word dancers need rest.

Fertility

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Today I'm feeling fertilized by an egg—

The Great San Francisco Poetry Wars, 16

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There was all this pomp and circumstance. We were each outfitted with robes, red of course, and mortar-boards with a gold tassel dangling over one eye. It made me positively dizzy. Plus I was extremely hung-over that day.

The Ruined Person

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The pit of my stomach was bottoming out, this lurching sort-of feeling one experiences when one has coasted WELL OVER an abyss and has no way of finding one's bearings . . .

Within You and Without You

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The cloudless sky/ amplifies the incompletion,/ clarifies the imperfections/ of the night’s normalcy-

Eight-Legged Freaks

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I’ve just moved to New York City and, somehow, Scarlett Johansson is at the same party I’m at.

tetanus

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no one cried

Neapolitan

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I wonder how many crumbs he can drop to make a cookie, whole, so I can relax a little and throw out the self help books about how I'm not right in the motherfucking head,

SWEET TOOTH: The Ballad Of Kola Kubes

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Trisha dreamed of being a Playboy Bunny since the days she still had buck-teeth and fried egg boobs. She blu-tacked page threes above her bed-head and had me snap topless Polaroids till they littered the floor. She told me to imagine she had 36DDs and per

Playlist

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I made you a playlist

yet mo bands

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Doofus National Puppet Radio Total Bogascity Sex Cowards Mein Kampfire Boner Hyperventilate Sewer Video Rats Psychic Umbrella Fire Your Psychic! Tender Brisket Megatrouser Puzzlement University Housecoats Fuchsia Big Ass Dawn

Drinks With Jeffrey (adult content)

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He pours both of us another drink and I take a gulp, even though it seems to be half vodka. My body slows, the alcohol confusing my nervous system. I rest my head on his shoulder. He doesn’t reach out to me. I wonder if this makes me the aggressor, but, a

maybe just a little too sensitive

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"do you know what your problem is when it comes to girls?" she must mean other than the fact that they're all completely insane. or at least all the ones i've dated.

shakey

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You held my hand when I hit the ground and told me the shakes would start soon.

Sometimes, an audience of one is enough

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not of time, but of all the clocks/ that tick along toward the end/ of all the possibilities.

Hubbled

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The nearsighted world/ puts on its lenses

What We Know but Can’t Describe

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We know them just enough/ to recognize them when we find them.

Jouissance

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BECAUSE to fuck is an incidental REASON to be here

Monday

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The door shuts slowly to something that’s allegedly mine and it sits there and waits until I come home just like you.