1681 6 4
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First off, don't worry about the marriage. It ain't gonna last. But don't worry. People will drive you nuts with that tiresome old chestnut, “there's more than one fish in the sea.” Thing is, they're right. Listen. I'm not talking salmon and sea bream…
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1681128
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16812213
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Only scotch and cheap champagne/
retain their reliable flavors.
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168133
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I thought about how chocolate or an hour massage, can almost trump sex. Then, I bought a chocolate bar and ate it all, without consulting the serving size. It was dark chocolate, 82%, worth it in the short term--- mmmm.
I thought about getting stoned.
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168197
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The day you came to the wedding the sky was so, so brightly July./ I saw my face where I left it the last time . . . .
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168155
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. . . did you notice yesterday afternoon how for an entire quarter hour five o’clock itself looked for a few minutes as if it would never arrive?
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168100
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168174
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You're on the Ferris wheel, and the wind is blowing just a little bit, and the sky is invisible behind a wash of white clouds, and your little yellow box tips when you look down, down to the fairway swinging. In the boxes below grandmothers are shrieking …
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168030
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He did it in front of the waiter and everything.
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168021
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Cammie Richard's house was just like all the others in Wilchester. The exterior was vaguely reminiscent of the Dutch style; gray stone with cross beams of dark wood, with two stories and a bay window. Her yard was fertilizer green, with a giant STRATFORD FOOTBALL…
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168064
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You're thinking I don't have a conscience, right? I'm asking you.
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168077
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She caretakes, he takes care
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1679146
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Marge didn't eat lamb or pork.
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16792014
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the doomed, but splendid,
first year GT40.
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16791516
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He didn't hide it. He told her he was a mortician when he called. He had responded to her ad in the Lonely Hearts section of the newspaper.
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16791310
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Fortunately, when the bird hits the sliding glass doors in our den, I know what to do.
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167921
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...something darkly malevolent looming above him...
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167966
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No one writes epics anymore. Why? Perhaps it's because we no longer share mythologies. Once there was a shepherd, and now there is a Google bus loaded with pricks. Yes, you say, but they are good at math. Each and every one of them. And this is true. I envy them…
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167964
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An action oriented solution for bovinity
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167877
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167800
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You know what parents have to do to get an Xbox? They don't just stand in line and someone hands them an Xbox, OK? That's sacrifice. They have to sacrifice and sacrifice and sacrifice. I mean, I chase alpacas a mile every night in subfreezing conditions,
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167821
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For the residents of Oak Morrow, entropy is an art form. They break their own windows and crash their cars into their living rooms. Grannies and pets can usually scoot out of the way before they’re crushed under the juggernaut of creativity.
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167810
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[He] practiced aromatherapy and licentiousness, in no particular order.
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167820
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There's this sepia-toned photograph, which my mother gave me, of my brother and me when we were still both youngsters. In the picture my brother's dressed in a skimpy checked suit whose sleeves were already too short for him — on its way to becoming my
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167833
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Everyone was shocked when they heard Tinkerbelle was six days gone and had got so heavy she couldn't fly. Who could have done it, everyone asked, but Tinkerbelle wasn't telling. So no one knew. That isn't true. I knew, and in this Declaration I swear I will tell…
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167800
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Dr. van Roos reminded the group that trauma is trauma...
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167897
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It is a misdemeanor to fart in NYC churches.
In 1857, toilet paper was invented by a man living in NYC.
No one knows how long it took for the idea to fan out from there.
God only knows why it took so long,
or why NYC was at the epicenter of it all
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167822
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1678117
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She smacked his back a couple of times with the flat of her hand
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167821
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A sturdy and goatish original by know-nothing punks from the sticks. Who cares if we were puny and smelled like fresh milk? For a few years we played and rocked, even turned the Appalachian soundscape a little brown at the edges. At least at first. Mainly
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