SNOWSTORM
Wind slams the trailer. Dolores and Marty cook through the Nor'easter. JJ's late.
“He ain't coming,” Marty says. “Time to sample the goods.”
The blade slices the white mound, tap-tap-tapping crystalline lines on glass.
“JJ's gonna be pissed.” Dolores' malt-liquored breath scatters the powder.
Marty shrugs, rolls the twenty. Saliva gushes.
The door blows open.
|
6
favs |
1279 views
10 comments |
68 words
All rights reserved. |
Author's Note
Inspired by the 52/250 theme - long lines. And the masochistic desire to keep the story @ 55 words.
Other stories by Linda Simoni-Wastila
Tags
Groups
-
52|250
Public group103 members -
55 Word Stories
Public group69 members
Comments
You must
log in
to post comments.
Nice take on the theme, Linda. Really well done. *
I like this compressed form, Linda. Especially like this image in middle - "The blade slices the white mound, tap-tap-tapping crystalline lines on glass." Good.
Perfect. Every word, every image here, even the title, contributes to the overall effect. Well done. *
Kim, Sam, and Kathy -- thank you for the reads and the faves -- so much appreciated! Peace...
Yikes! What an ending! Wish I could see the look on their faces!
Thanks Jack for reading! Yep, I think JJ surprised them. Peace...
Perfectly dramatized piece, Linda and the ending is great, so funny. Like in "Annie Hall" when Woody Allen sneezes the coke lines off the table.
Great piece. Very effective in such a small amount of words.
A complete story in 55 words.
I agree with Kathy; the title not only sets the scene, it prophesies the closer. Then the reader goes back for a reread -- the Micro writer's best friend!
David, Jules, and Ramon -- Thanks so much for reading and your kind words. I'd forgotten that Annie Hall scene, but now it makes me laugh at my story. Peace...